Splitting up; what will the Evil Bitch Queen of Hades get?

Discussion in 'Finance, Property, Law' started by Bravo_Bravo, Aug 31, 2010.

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  1. Situation; not married, two daughters aged 16 and 13 for whom I do not have parental responsibility. I am their father and we have all lived together for some years. Their mother and I have simply shared a roof and have not been a "couple" per se for many years.

    Our property is in joint names as is the mortgage ( which was in my name alone until she insisted on her right to take on the liability. Smart move. ) Equity a £k couple of hundred.

    I own a Buy to Let which is in my sole name and she has not contributed financially to this although she has on about two / three ocassions dealt with Tenant handover. Income from this after expenses £4-500 pm, quity estomated at £45-50k.

    Other income; I'm self-employed and right now have very little coming in, although this looks certain to change quite markedly over the next few months. I also have my TA pay, £3-500 per month.

    Should she somehow be able to force a split ( and can I be made to sell either the main house or my Buy to Let? ) what will the evil cow be entitled to?
    • Informative Informative x 1
  2. If you're not married, she gets to take her own property with her, end of. Cue arguments about who owns what, in re which talk to a solicitor, if only to have a general tidy-up and prune of your business affairs. Go before you have a problem, clients who waited until it had all gone wahoonie-shaped were the reason I retired in disgust from that profession.
  3. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    in ref the Law speak to a solicitor in ref your business speak to someone who actually knows about business, and tax planning. Oh and by the way Hide everything, admit nothing. Put all paper work in locked draws or filing cabinets. Precedent was set recently, basically if its not on your desk or in open view she can't take it and use it against you unless you give it to her.

    Sue the solicitor who put your home into joint names for negligence. You should have been advised to use "Tenants in common" and as up until that point it was your asset I certainly wouldn't have expected a 50/50 split.

    On the bad news front. She's going to set the CSA on you. Count on it. However as your earnings are low they won't be able to get that much. They will however bother the fcuk out of you. Don't suppose your a war pensioner are you?
  4. Thanks for the replies so far.

    I cannot recall if the property is joint tenancy or tenants in common, but I wanted to do what was fair and splitting the ownership 50:50 seemed to be the equitable ( no pun ) route. She has been paying some £300 pm towards general living expenses but at the mo the mortgage alone costs >£700 pm in interest, let alone poll tax, food, electricity bills etc.

    My understandiong of ther CPA is that they may look for 15%-20% of my income, and I know that eg. pensuion contributions are excluded. So, I'm showing very little income and we've been living on savings for a while. She does not earn a lot £11k at the moment, new job maybe £15k ) so how she expects to support three of them on that plus my CSA payments does somewhat amuse me ( and she refuses to acknowledge that minor inconvenience. ) I think she fully expects me to move out, get a small flat or similar and keep paying for her and the kids to live in the current property.
  5. Sounds messy.

    You need a hitman.
  6. Always remember to keep on amicable terms, even if the sound of her breathing induces homicidal thoughts, if you wish to keep seeing your kids.
  7. I think she fully expects me to move out, get a small flat or similar and keep paying for her and the kids to live in the current property.

    Well dont move out, and CSA cant do anything unless, you do absolutly nothing with your other half ie. only care/cook/launder/shop for myself and not your daughters, also dont share rooms and don't sleep together.

    The Law on Living Together and Cohabititation

    Unlike married couples, unmarried couples have no basic rights to their partner's property or to maintenance if they split up. Basically what is his is his, what is hers is hers, and what is jointly-owned needs to be divided.

    This applies to the home as well. Therefore if a house is bought in joint names (either as beneficial joint tenants, or as tenants-in-common - click here for more info on these terms) then it should be split accordingly on separation, and either party can force a sale of the property to realise their share. If the parties are contributing unequally to the purchase price, or to payments on the property, then this should be reflected by being designated as tenants-in-common and holding unequal shareholdings (say 70% and 30%), rather than the equal shareholdings of beneficial joint tenants.

    Unmarried Couples and Children
    If the parents of a child are unmarried, then only the mother has any automatic rights in respect of the child. She alone will have parental responsibility for the child, which covers all aspects of his/her welfare and upbringing. However since 1 December 2003 (s111 of the Adoption & Children Act 2002) it is now easier for an unmarried father to acquire similar rights. All he needs to do is to register the birth of the child with the mother.

    An unmarried father can also acquire joint parental responsibility or (in extreme circumstances) sole parental responsibility, if the parents have entered into a Parental Responsibility Agreement (more on this here at a later date), or if he applies to the court and they grant him an order in his favour.

    Therefore if an unmarried couple split up the mother will automatically have the right to look after her child in a manner and place as she sees fit, and the father could not challenge her unless they have entered into a Parental Responsibility Agreement or he has a court order in his favour.
    The father can apply to the court for joint parental responsibility, a residence order (ie that the child live with him rather than his/her mother), or for a contact order (ie that he should be entitled to see his child on a regular basis).

  8. This is getting really useful;, thanks.

    "Well dont move out, and CSA cant do anything unless, you do absolutly nothing with your other half ie. only care/cook/launder/shop for myself and not your daughters, also dont share rooms and don't sleep together."

    Not sure if this is an instruction or a question; I do some shopping, laundry etc for all four of us, I have not slept in a room with their mother for many years, nor have we slept together ( euphemism. ).

  9. If you can keep on friendly terms do as the only people who gain in a relationship split are the lawyers, I should know I am one but not a family/divorce one so was lead through my divorce by the senior partner. I gave my ex more than she would have got if it had lead to a shooting match but it was worth it to be shot of her, move on without any hassle and saving a small fortune in time if not legal fees if I had had to pay them.

    The only down side to my divorce was the kids wanted to and do live with me, well the elder when he is on leave anyway. God she must have been a bad mother!!! Seriously keep it amicable if you can and just think of double tapping her with a smile on your face.
  10. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    This happens! and I had one try it on, she spent about a year and a half trying to get me to punch her in the mouth. God knows she deserved it for some of the things she did. Although I didn't I could have!
  11. Might be worth mentioning that I have genuine concerns about her mental health; clearly living with me is enough to drive anyobne over the edge but she ( a Woman of A Certain Age ) is hugely argumentative and has to contradict just about *anything* I say; she constantly tries to control what I'm doing and be abusive when I either do not do enough housework or do the wrong kind of jobs. It also transpires that I'm the only bloke in the world who falls asleep some evenings.

    The most worrying aspect of her behaviour is twofold: first, she sees no problem with ( constantly ) castigating and haranguing me in front of the children, giving them the impression that its OK to treat their father in this way. Secondly, and sadly, my eldest daughter, now aged 16 has on a few occasions physically attacked me, leaving bite marks and drawing blood with scratches. I've not retaliated but have used restraint techniques ( armlock so she was an arms length facing away ) to prevent further injury to me. She refuses to intervene or chastise the daughter and says that I'm the one carrying out the assault.

    To me this clearly gives the impression to the eldest child that its an acceptable way to behave. I did once grab the mother by the lapel and tell her ( as I was being attacked by the daughter ) that she had to get involved. This was reported by her to the Police but they did not attend.
  12. Then I'd be very very careful if it has got to this stage, speak to CSA now, and to a solicitor about everything, least get it in writing and be very careful not to let her know what your doing.
  13. There used to be a "payment calculator" on the CSA website. Although not binding it does give a rough idea of what your payments to her MIGHT be. It has been some years since i last checked.

    Good luck!