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Splitarse Drivers

FULLTRAIN

Old-Salt
It's true, my daughter's sh1te at driving...........mind you, she's only 3 !
 

dgc890

Swinger
Nothing worse than a split driving a "Chelsea Tractor" that she has no idea of how wide or long iut is and thinking that she has the right of way in every situation COWS
 

ExPadBrat

War Hero
You sad old gits!!

Not all splitarrses are cr@p at driving!! I got 120 mph out of my company astra, won't have another one as I don't trust myself... I can parrallel park and was told off by a bloke the other day for driving so aggressively. :thumright:

Ok, my dad was an army driving instructor in his day and I had my first driving lesson at about 12 years old so I may just be an exception to the rule!

The worst ones are the fekking lorry drivers who try and overtake at 0.01mph faster than the lorry in front of them.
 

Brew_Time

War Hero
dingerr said:
Crashed into a chink once coming the wrong way off a roundabout (her not me), it was cut and dried 100% her fault, well i thought until i received a letted from her insurance company stating that it ws not their clients fault as she was not of British origin and did not understand roundabouts. Most shocking thing was that it was the Leicester ring-road so she must have navigated at least 10 roundabouts to get to the one she hit me on.

Am lost for words - gobsmacked. What was the overall outcome.

BT. :frustrated:
 
ExPadBrat said:
You sad old gits!!

Not all splitarrses are cr@p at driving!! I got 120 mph out of my company astra, won't have another one as I don't trust myself... I can parrallel park and was told off by a bloke the other day for driving so aggressively. :thumright:

Ok, my dad was an army driving instructor in his day and I had my first driving lesson at about 12 years old so I may just be an exception to the rule!

The worst ones are the fekking lorry drivers who try and overtake at 0.01mph faster than the lorry in front of them.

Yep you are a crap driver - doing a 120mph and driving aggressively and showing no consideration for other road users.

Ever driven an LGV? Guess not - as my instructor said to me you drive a car, but you work an LGV. Its fecking dozy bints like you who think 40 tonnes of vehicle can stop on a sixpence or get irate because the LGV in front is doing 40 in a national speed limit zone.
 
Brew_Time said:
Is it just me or am not alone in thinking woman drivers are a pain in the fkn Arse.

Wipers full on when its not raining.
Indicators on when they're not turning.
Indicators NOT on when they ARE turning.
Fog lights on when its not even remotely foggy.
No acknowledgement when you let them out of a junc or thru a tight gap.

They are just so fkn inconsiderate.

BT :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :threaten:

Sounds like a few guys i know as well... :threaten:

Also, They can't seem to Parallel park either. :plotting:
 
Brew_Time said:
dingerr said:
Crashed into a chink once coming the wrong way off a roundabout (her not me), it was cut and dried 100% her fault, well i thought until i received a letted from her insurance company stating that it ws not their clients fault as she was not of British origin and did not understand roundabouts. Most shocking thing was that it was the Leicester ring-road so she must have navigated at least 10 roundabouts to get to the one she hit me on.

Am lost for words - gobsmacked. What was the overall outcome.

BT. :frustrated:

My insurance company said no, they offered 50/50, went to settle in court, her insurance company buckled about a week before - they were just trying it on.
 
Ah yes, women drivers...

There was the blue rinse OAP in the Corsa who tried to do a 3 point turn on a blind corner in a NSL zone. Only reason we both didn't go straight to St. Peter was the sheer dumb luck of me having slowed to let a car turn off just before.

Or the other one in front of me at traffic lights, who caught the pedestrian green man on the crossing to the left and pulled straight out, seemingly oblivious to the fecking great articulated lorry crossing her path as she did so. Mashed the front end under the wheels. Two hours I was stuck at that fecking junction and she didn't even have a scratch on her, the cow!

:frustrated:

To be fair though I had a woman instructor when I was learning and she was bloody good, but more an exception than a rule.
 
ExPadBrat said:
You sad old gits!!

Not all splitarrses are cr@p at driving!! I got 120 mph out of my company astra, won't have another one as I don't trust myself... I can parrallel park and was told off by a bloke the other day for driving so aggressively. :thumright:

Ok, my dad was an army driving instructor in his day and I had my first driving lesson at about 12 years old so I may just be an exception to the rule!

The worst ones are the fekking lorry drivers who try and overtake at 0.01mph faster than the lorry in front of them.

Getting your toe down and driving aggressively, doesn't make you a good driver, consistently getting from A to b quickly and without incident is good driving.
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
Dozy Bint reversed he Land Rover into the front of my truck - she said she didn't see it there, fair one is suppose it was only big and white with a yellow fluorescent stripe and blue lights across the front!
 

Brew_Time

War Hero
dingerr said:
Brew_Time said:
dingerr said:
Crashed into a chink once coming the wrong way off a roundabout (her not me), it was cut and dried 100% her fault, well i thought until i received a letted from her insurance company stating that it ws not their clients fault as she was not of British origin and did not understand roundabouts. Most shocking thing was that it was the Leicester ring-road so she must have navigated at least 10 roundabouts to get to the one she hit me on.

Am lost for words - gobsmacked. What was the overall outcome.

BT. :frustrated:

My insurance company said no, they offered 50/50, went to settle in court, her insurance company buckled about a week before - they were just trying it on.

Glad you got away with it mate.

BT. :thumright:
 
Blue rinse brigade out in force today - apparently it's totally acceptable to drive at 45mph-50mph on the m11. Cnuts
 

Mazur_UK

War Hero
Near where I am a new housing development has sprung up, when my teacher asked me (my FEMALE teacher) what was the biggest danger to this new housing develompent.

I unwisely replied "Woman Drivers" oh how i paid :silent:

I later found out the teaher was a woman's rrights and amnesty internation activist
 
dingerr said:
Dozy Bint reversed he Land Rover into the front of my truck - she said she didn't see it there, fair one is suppose it was only big and white with a yellow fluorescent stripe and blue lights across the front!

I bloody well didn't!

Several ARRSErs have been in my car and as yet none of them have met a sudden death as a result of my driving, though I do tend to try to challenge land-speed records...
 
Sorry DB t'wasnt you, t'was a real DOZY BINT
 

Fiji_Bob

Old-Salt
crabby said:
Blue rinse brigade out in force today - apparently it's totally acceptable to drive at 45mph-50mph on the m11. Cnuts

Feckers the lot, bet if you asked them they would say " I haven't had an accident in 40 years" but I bet all have seen plenty in their rear view mirror! :pissedoff:

I don't know what is worse a splitarse driving or one as passenger?....pearls of wisdom as follows..........

:frustrated: "You're too close to them in front"
:frustrated: "Don't swear at them they cant hear you, but I can"
:frustrated: "Why are you speeding"
:frustrated: "Turn left there" (1 millisecond before the junction)
:frustrated: "Turn left ,no right, I mean left"
:frustrated: "Don't start a fight with them while I'm in the car"
:frustrated: "Why did you not let them in the queue"
:frustrated: "Why did we come this way?" (stuck in traffic jam)
:frustrated: "I told you not to come this way" (still stuck in traffic jam)

Where do I buy one of those James Bond ejector seats? :plotting:
 
Add to the list the coffin-dodgers who you physically can't see over the headrest as you overtake (always a bad sign) who decide to make an unannounced lane change when they are unwrapping the Werthers Original or struggling to remember their name.

Other warning signs: pink velour seat covers. There are a lot of young girlies in their chavmobiles blatting around at the mo, usually filled with about ten mates and equipped with the driving skills of suicidal lemmings.

Like zipping into a gap 3 feet longer than the crush zone between 2 braking HGVs. And of course the 'gangsta cru' on board giving the driver behind who had to lamp on a good selection of hand gestures when he flashed tham as a reminder that he had just saved their fecking lives!

And finally, this weeks award for most annoying: head towards roundabout, indicating right, and go straight on. Repeat, occasionally turning right from the left lane without indicating just to spice up the lives of those around you.
 
Fiji_Bob said:
crabby said:
Blue rinse brigade out in force today - apparently it's totally acceptable to drive at 45mph-50mph on the m11. Cnuts

Feckers the lot, bet if you asked them they would say " I haven't had an accident in 40 years" but I bet all have seen plenty in their rear view mirror! :pissedoff:

I don't know what is worse a splitarse driving or one as passenger?....pearls of wisdom as follows..........

:frustrated: "You're too close to them in front"
:frustrated: "Don't swear at them they cant hear you, but I can"
:frustrated: "Why are you speeding"
:frustrated: "Turn left there" (1 millisecond before the junction)
:frustrated: "Turn left ,no right, I mean left"
:frustrated: "Don't start a fight with them while I'm in the car"
:frustrated: "Why did you not let them in the queue"
:frustrated: "Why did we come this way?" (stuck in traffic jam)
:frustrated: "I told you not to come this way" (still stuck in traffic jam)

Where do I buy one of those James Bond ejector seats? :plotting:

He..He..
Sounds just like the Missus..And more.. :threaten:
 
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