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split stuff

#1
boney_m said:
And while your calling me a freak, why does the first 2 letters of your name spell gay? Freak
How can the first 2 letters spell a 3 letter word? Am confused. Does that mean that all your posts are 'bone'?
 
V

vespa

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#3
haw haw no matter what you can do, you will never get as under my skin as i did you :D
 
#6
CC you deserve another ARRSE gong for starting this thread :lol:
and from one who has been on the receiving end so to speak :lol:

HMS is the phrase I use = Hot Midnight Shower :lol: :lol:
 
#7
Convoy_Cock said:
Needless to say she got fcuking drenched and an instant rainbow appeared in the room.

About three days later she told him that she just wanted to be 'friends' from now on.
:lol: :lol: STOP IT, PLEASE !! I'm wetting myself laughing !! :lol: :lol:
 
#8
Oh please stop it!!!

My sides are aching. Seal cubs and drenchings, - it could only be forces humor. Civvies just don't understand.
 
#12
Mighty_doh_nut said:
Getting a nosh of a seal cub!!!!!!
Outstanding, the funniest line on arse ever! Just laughed out loud and was sat in hysterics for about ten minutes. Superb! :D :D :D
Funny as f*** - I was incapacitated for a good few minutes.

I loved the seal cub and the rainbow. Classic.

PD
 
#13
cait said:
seal cub :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dolphin said:
Is this just a boy phenomenon or do girls have the same problem?
:oops:

The only recollection I have of the event is paying the taxi driver. I'd been on a girly night out, apparently I’d fallen up stairs, stripped off and climbed into bed beside the hubbie (or fiancée as he was then). Been in bed about 10mins when he said I got up and with a semi conscious stagger made it over to the corner of the bedroom, assumed the squat position and promptly entered the entire contents of two bottles of wine and numerous shots of vodka onto the carpet via my bladder! :oops:
I was greeted in the morning with a bucket and scrubbing brush and a few choice words including "I should grab you by the head and rub your nose in it" 8O
What he conveniently forgot to tell me was that instead of sparing me the embarrassment and waking me up he decided to grab the disposable camera from my handbag and take a photo, as if that wasn’t humiliating enough the barsteward reproduced the photo to make invitations to his stag night! :evil:
so are they gonna appear in the gallery then cait? :wink: :lol:
 
#16
ex-dvr1 said:
cait said:
seal cub :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dolphin said:
Is this just a boy phenomenon or do girls have the same problem?
:oops:

The only recollection I have of the event is paying the taxi driver. I'd been on a girly night out, apparently I’d fallen up stairs, stripped off and climbed into bed beside the hubbie (or fiancée as he was then). Been in bed about 10mins when he said I got up and with a semi conscious stagger made it over to the corner of the bedroom, assumed the squat position and promptly entered the entire contents of two bottles of wine and numerous shots of vodka onto the carpet via my bladder! :oops:
I was greeted in the morning with a bucket and scrubbing brush and a few choice words including "I should grab you by the head and rub your nose in it" 8O
What he conveniently forgot to tell me was that instead of sparing me the embarrassment and waking me up he decided to grab the disposable camera from my handbag and take a photo, as if that wasn’t humiliating enough the barsteward reproduced the photo to make invitations to his stag night! :evil:
so are they gonna appear in the gallery then cait? :wink: :lol:

Ok cancel my last!!I don't have any wish to watch some burd peeing really!! :oops:
 
#17
Funny stories......but somethings just not right...grown men wetting the bed...or i have I stumbled into the junior Cadet lounge :lol:
 
#19
Tears in my eyes..


But at the time it is so real, the freedom, the relief........

Must get a new mattress cover!
 
#20
When my brother used to come home on leave from the Booties, he never even bothered to sleep in a bed. He'd just kip in the empty bath and have done with it.

For a time in Aldershot, it was a hotly debated topic. We weren't on much money, and we were getting hammered on the mattress bills. The Squadron were making a mint. They'd have an inspection every few weeks and make you exchange the fcuker, if it was urine-stained. This was in spite of the incontravertible fact, that you would be making the new one squelchy in a matter of days.

One bloke was that worried about splashing at his girlfriends house, that he took to sticking a johnny on before he got his head down. Apparently it worked for a while. Because he was, I believe the phrase is "Bell-swaggered," the johnny never slipped off the end of his knob even when there was a litre of urine in it. One night he was so stonkered, he put three pisses worth in it before he woke up. He said that the bag was so full of urine, that when he pulled the duvet cover off, it looked like he was getting a nosh off a seal cub. He tried to pick it up without waking his girlfriend. He got one hand underneath it and used the other hand to keep the johnny on his knob end. His side of the bed was against a wall, so he had to climb over his lady to get to the door. She was lying with her back to him and as he carefully climbed over her, he nicked the johnny on her watch. Needless to say she got fcuking drenched and an instant rainbow appeared in the room.

About three days later she told him that she just wanted to be 'friends' from now on.
this is the feckin best one i have ever heard. cnat stop laffin.
 

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