split stuff

#4
cait said:
At the request of ex-dvr1 even though i am now beginning to sound like a twisted fruit cake......

Goes back a few years now to when i was living at home, the folks had gone away on their hols and me and my older brother were left at home. So like any normal teenagers the parents had only got to the end of the street by the time the party was in full swing.

Anyway not sure how we got round to it but a few cases of Stella later we had rigged a contraption to the bird table using a car battery and metal plate (not sure how it worked, brother got the brains...i got the t*ts) which was subsequently disguised with bread crumbs.

We all huddled back into the conservatory to watch the display as the local bird population flocked to feast on the bread only to receive a bolt from the car battery!

:lol: :lol: :lol:
you need help!!! 8O
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#7
shortfuse said:
back to "bird destroying , dont know how much truth there is in this but apparently if you wrap some alka seltzer in bread and feed it to seagulls they explode , something to do with not being able to burp or fart , can anyone confirm my theory , or do i have to go and do some field testing myself :?:
Don't know about Alka-Seltzer, but Carbide works :twisted:

I HATE skyrats !
 
#9
cait said:
Had just got back of ex the night before and was stood in the kitchen making a brew when i thought oooh i could just eat a Jammie Dodger so i reached for the biscuit tin.
When i opened it, all i was greeted with was a handful of custard creams and a couple of bourbons! The hubby being a greedy barsteward had troughed the lot!
Still suffering the effects of compo cramps i thought i'd leave the hubby something to remind him of his lovely lady, upon which i dropped me pants, farted into the tin and quickly replaced the lid! :wink:

:lol:
Cait,
Has he opened the Biscuit tin yet?????
 
#11
Cait said:
Does anyone else find themselves battling with that little devil on your shoulder......what i mean is sometimes the opportunity arises to commit a random act of cruelty and after a short wrestle with your conscience .....you just cant resist!

Last month for example, the better half was sitting in the living room watching the box, I was in the kitchen (where I belong yeah, yeah) anyway he shouts through that he?s got a headache and can I pass him some paracetamol .
So I trot over to the cupboard and reach in to get them when I spy a box of Preparation H Suppositories (you know, that you stick up your arrse for hemorrhoidal symptoms). Anyway the devil won and I walked into the living room and handed him a couple,
"there you go love, got these the other day, great pain killers, did wonders for the PMT, only thing is you have to chew them" with that he popped them in and began to chew!
It took all I had not to explode into fits of laughter, especially when he piped up with "Gawd, they could have made em' taste fruity or something?

Surely I cant be the only one with this affliction???
Not at all Cait, 50% of UK residents suffer from piles...
 
#12
Cuddles said:
Cait said:
Does anyone else find themselves battling with that little devil on your shoulder......what i mean is sometimes the opportunity arises to commit a random act of cruelty and after a short wrestle with your conscience .....you just cant resist!

Last month for example, the better half was sitting in the living room watching the box, I was in the kitchen (where I belong yeah, yeah) anyway he shouts through that he?s got a headache and can I pass him some paracetamol .
So I trot over to the cupboard and reach in to get them when I spy a box of Preparation H Suppositories (you know, that you stick up your arrse for hemorrhoidal symptoms). Anyway the devil won and I walked into the living room and handed him a couple,
"there you go love, got these the other day, great pain killers, did wonders for the PMT, only thing is you have to chew them" with that he popped them in and began to chew!
It took all I had not to explode into fits of laughter, especially when he piped up with "Gawd, they could have made em' taste fruity or something?

Surely I cant be the only one with this affliction???
Not at all Cait, 50% of UK residents suffer from piles...
and 80% of all statistics are made up on the spot! :D
 

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