split stuff

#2
tried giving my 2 1/2 year old daughter an egg banjo, she looked at it with the look of disgust that only her loving mother can give when i mention stopping at a geasy spoon truck stop.They will both of course be on e-bay in the next day or two.
 
#4
drain_sniffer said:
As a young cook on tour in NI in the early 90's, I used to leave out a stack of eggs and a bakeries supply of bread for the patrols. I would come in the following morning to find a kitchen looking like the SAS had been in and cleared it. Used to take about an hour to clean all the crap up
sounds like forkhill... lol

Excellent thread... proud to be a dad :) none of my ikkle ones have asked yet but I am sure its round the corner soon
 
#6
Nutstrangler said:
The only permitted additive (Apart from the usual Mil. Spec. lubricants and the obligatory black 'n' greasy fingerprints) is coarsely ground black pepper!
How well I remember the plaintive call of our local char-wallah, "Egg banjo, no-gai" - that's what it sounded like, anyhow. :mrgreen:

NOOOOOOOOOO! Get out of the kitchen Mr Oliver you mockney cnut!!!! :lol:
 
#7
Legs said:
ViroBono said:
Wait until someone from Sodexho reads this thread. There'll be banjoes at every PAYD outlet in no time. From their point of view it's the ideal food - you can use the cheapest, lowest quality ingredients (SOP for contractors); they're actually better when greasy; they take long to make and they're obviously popular.

But it won't work for them. The minimum-pay chimps they employ won't be able to make banjoes properly, especially whilst they're wearing hairnets, latex gloves and other food-handler's accoutrements. They won't be able to cope with a 'best before' of '30 seconds after cooking'. The final nail in the coffin will be that Sodexho will try and charge £4.99 each for them - or £6.99 with a Latte Grande.
And if the Health and Safety Nazis get a hint of them, the yolks will be cooked until they are a solid rubber mass (to avoid having a visit from Sam and Ella, and to avoid accidental burns - poofs), and they wont have oil stains on them.
Its the egg white that causes the problem, not the yolk........




My taxi's here
 
#8
the_rigger said:
Sir, In a recent conversation about the state of the nation myself and some other ex bill oddies decided that the current rag order of society is due to the p1ss poor standards of parenting.
Your post, however, gives me heart. Your youth rearing admin is a shining beacon of how to get the job done.
I myself have an 18 month old son and the thought of him having his first egg banjo causes me to well up, even now.
Although I have to say that when I introduce the boy to this right of passage, I will have the bread tarnished with some form of POL. I am still undecided whether to soak my hands in diesel, kero or OMD 80 before knocking up his first banjo. Although I have already decided to serve it up just after turfing him out of his maggot and to have it accompanied with a black metal mug of tea with tape around the rim and a bit of leaf mould floating in it.
Just out of curiosity, are you going to move him onto kero heater toast in the future? If so just remember to never trim the wicks on the heater so that it smokes like billy-O and gives that extra strong taste.
Strewth. mate, I hate to break this to you, but OMD 80 has been superceded by OMD 90.
PM me for the NSN. ;-)
 
#12
ringdoby said:
Corporal said:
Is an egg banjo just eggs and bread? Can you add bacon, ham or cheese? Don't know what you guys are getting all excited about, real men eat sausage gravy and biscuits. :wink:
Go fcuk yourself.

Real men indeed.
Cracking reply, mate. Last time I heard such a sharp wit, I was talking to my 3 year old neice.

ViroBono said:
Heretic. Burn him.
Much better! :D

Someone please explain to this heretic how an egg sandwich got such a mythical reputation in the British Army.
 
#14
mmmmmmmmmmmm pop eyes biscuits with gravy mmmmmmmmmmmm

oh and chicken mmmmmmmmmmm

and a diet coke!
 
#15
SuperTrooper said:
Has anyone had Banjo after-effects. After troffing a couple last night I can't seem to stop pumping out the foulest of air biscuts. I just did one and it killed a wasp which was flying past, it just dropped out of the sky, mid flight. Is it just my working parts or has anyone else produced the smelliest farts after a couple of banjos?

:?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: i've just ruined my keyboard!!!

My Mrs is a vegee, and she could kill civvie at 30 yards infact just last night she threw one out so horrible i had to turn a fan on to waft the rancid shite smell over to her side of the bed! honest its like sleeping with a corpse (smell only boys 8) )
 
#16
This thread is abslute mint. I have not been able to stop laughing from the start. Why are there so many s h it e sitcoms on TV when there is this knocking about? Brilliant
 
#17
off thread slightly i know but while on an expedition in canada we stopped at a roadside diner (greasy spoon) for breakfast. when it came time to order my mate asked for eggs on toast, the waitress inquired if he would like them "sunny side up" he answerd (as any squaddie would) "nah ill eat em in here thanks"..........cnut
 
#18
cpunk said:
TankiesYank said:
Egg banjo as marital aid:

Fry up two banjos on Saturday morning. Eat them naked in bed on a Saturday morning. Lick the dribbled yolk off each others' bodies. :D
That will only work as long as you don't have a family dog. If the lovely Mrs cpunk and I ate egg banjos naked in bed on a Saturday morning, I can more or less guarantee a bruising encounter with a large and enthusiastic bull terrier, wrestling us for the drips...


Dog f-ucker. :D
 
#19
cpunk said:
TankiesYank said:
Egg banjo as marital aid:

Fry up two banjos on Saturday morning. Eat them naked in bed on a Saturday morning. Lick the dribbled yolk off each others' bodies. :D
That will only work as long as you don't have a family dog. If the lovely Mrs cpunk and I ate egg banjos naked in bed on a Saturday morning, I can more or less guarantee a bruising encounter with a large and enthusiastic bull terrier, wrestling us for the drips...
Does it have a taste for hair infused with manfat too? How do you do the beast with two backs with Rover in the same room. I bet it gives a mean ring dhobi when your doing the business :D
 

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