split stuff



shortfuse said:
a bad one , will result in you attempting the advanced "trousers off with shoes still on" and pulling down the curtains in your bedroom at which point the old schermuly will go up and a prolonged period of tactical questioning will ensue.

in this instance sticking to the big four may not be wise .... torture will ensue immediately.
Class, sheer class - PMSL at this


walt_of_the_walts said:
Rushed meals is something that the military has in common with law enforcement. Last year I sat down to Christmas dinner with mine and the fiancees family, 14 of us, as I recall.

Now 5 of us are law. 3 coppers two airport customs officers. We'd cleared our plates before some of them had even poured the gravy on there meat!

And we werent in a hurry!
Flippin 'eck - this is Missus Foz's biggest gripe with me. I can demolish the biggest banquet in nano seconds and be on the cheese and port- whilst she is still breaking the roll for the starter. I tell her that I've got a change parade at 13:00 and it falls on stony ground
Being totally desensitised to stuff like the bog I posted in the gallery yesterday :D


Quick eating and by far and away, quick smoking - a 5 minute smoke break was an opportunity to get 2 or 3 puffed away - a range fag or just a break in setting up kit was enough for high speed inhalations. Now I can leisurely puff away I can be stubbing out the butt when the others have just lit up.
LBdr_Pigshagger said:
.... I put up a tent at the rear of my van, got a brew on, then climbed into my doss sack and asked them to wake me up when they'd opened the road.

I even made it into two national papers...

Ahhhh so that was you then nice one :wink:
Danny1297 said:
Been out four years and I still can't get down my scran fast enough.

Has anyone found a use for fruit dumplings in butterscotch sauce yet?
yes feed em me love the stuff :D
ugly said:
megadeth said:
The best lesson learnt is " SHOUTING " , as a single parent , giving the kids a good verbal bashing is the only thing legally left , and doing it at 200 m across the playing field , scares the living S...t out of the civvies ; but does the job perfect
Scary mums, they dont make em like they used to!
sorry but this callsign is a dad of three monsters , :)


sirbhp said:
I leaned to puque in firebuckets whilst in the mob and convertedthis skill quite easilly in civvy street,
if you cant find a fire bucket use the kitchen bin instead but please please remeber if it is a flip top to wedge it open before passing out.
I tried one of the litter bins in bangor High street, very difficult as they are a closed top 4 way letter box variety and you have to chuck with accuracy and force to avoid splash back!
OSACIN said:
NBC trench diggers ............
If we can believe all that's being written in the media at the moment this might just be the handiest skill going at the moment.
[Kiwi and Housewife in locker]
Is the ability to mutter "fukcin' civvies" in a meeting without getting noticed a transferable skill??

civvie-rage? is there a cure?

thank god I'm going back in
I'm still bulling boots and bumpering floors but the money is way better. I stopped shouting at my staff last year as I found they had all taken the batteries out of their hearing aids. Bitches.

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