split stuff

#2
Convoy_Cock said:
I was verbally accosted by my wife this morning for leaving a dirty great skid superglued to the side of the toilet bowl, during my pre-bed ablutions.

No big deal I thought. I had a particularly full bladder so I ventured in there with the intention of applying some high pressure wazz on the blighter. I thought I had a good diet, but last nights kentucky/ben and jerries combo seems to have created a "Billy the Kid" thats completely immune to conventional removal techniques. My slash just bounced off, creating collateral damage to the wall. The fcuker is stuck there faster than Qmans dislike of Mancunians.

It's appearance is like a map of Italy, shaped out of a pepperami. I've even tried the toilet brush. Always wondered what that was for. After 15 minutes i'd managed to erase the equivalent of Sicily but that left me completely ballbagged. Unless I get some useful suggestions i'm going to have to go at it with my nails and a toffee hammer.
Is it inside, or outside, the toilet bowl?????
 
#4
Gunny Highway said:
LOL !! STOP IT !! :lol: Give her a slap !!
You still owe me an apology
 
#6
Dale The Snail said:
Convoy_Cock said:
I was verbally accosted by my wife this morning for leaving a dirty great skid superglued to the side of the toilet bowl, during my pre-bed ablutions.

No big deal I thought. I had a particularly full bladder so I ventured in there with the intention of applying some high pressure wazz on the blighter. I thought I had a good diet, but last nights kentucky/ben and jerries combo seems to have created a "Billy the Kid" thats completely immune to conventional removal techniques. My slash just bounced off, creating collateral damage to the wall. The fcuker is stuck there faster than Qmans dislike of Mancunians.

It's appearance is like a map of Italy, shaped out of a pepperami. I've even tried the toilet brush. Always wondered what that was for. After 15 minutes i'd managed to erase the equivalent of Sicily but that left me completely ballbagged. Unless I get some useful suggestions i'm going to have to go at it with my nails and a toffee hammer.
Is it inside, or outside, the toilet bowl?????
You dirty cow.........only a Scouser could consider a question like that.
 
#10
Perhaps the measuring implement could be a 'Brown troutometer'
 
#12
Nutstrangler said:
Clipper Muscle (The one that chops them off to length),
Thought that was the crimper?
 
#15
Sorry mate, s'been done. Tracy Emin's bed had a couple of all too visible skids on the sheets. 8O
 
#17
Quality!

By far one of the best threads ever. :mrgreen:
 
#18
The_Flying_Hamster said:
This reminds me of the time one of the lads came bursting into the room shouting "youv'e got to come and see this" and immediately turned heel and ran back to the ablutions. We all followed, as you do, thinking it might be of some interest.

There in the pan was the biggest richard the third enyone had ever seen.

"I've tried flushing it/poking it with the broom handle and even throwing buckets of water after it, and it just comes back up smiling at me" he said.

Loads of chatter and suggestions ensued, granades and plastic were suggested, then suddenly the CSM strolled and and started yelling at all and sundry, when we had cleared the trap he looked in and shouted some obcenities in the general direction of the pan, then a little voice from the other side of the washroom said "we've already tried shouting at it sir, it wouldn't shift for us either"

result - 9 bodies rolling on the wet floor, making it wetter with tears of laughter, and one CSM blowing steam out of his ears, not even smiling.

hahahahahhaa.....fcking pearler mate!
 
#19
Is Dale still around........apparantly she is quite good in the brass section, unlike QMan9193..........who prefers the pink oboe.
 

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