ARRSE is supported by the advertisements on it, so if you use an adblocker please consider helping us by starting an Ad-Free subscription.

Log in or Sign up

split from

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by node, Sep 15, 2007.

» register to remove ad » advertise here

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

Current Affairs, News and Analysis
The Int Cell (Gossip)
The NAAFI Bar (not for the faint hearted)
Clothing and Equipment
» we have our own encyclopaedia; the ARRSEPedia
» our reviews section - book and other reviews
» register a user (and see less advertising)

Join ARRSE (free) to join in and remove this advertising

Page 1 of 2

node

BlotBangRub said:

Last night I went out to the pub with a friend and for the second time in as many weeks some random, drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I am talking about the slightly unhinged, bi-polar, self loathing bellend who of course thinks he is as hard as ten men, and that I am somehow interested in his opinions and posturing.

Two weeks ago it was some illiterate pikey t**t and his equally obnoxious 20 stone wife, and last night it was some bald headed fool from Leicester.

Now what I want to know is why me??

I have been in an almost unprecedented good mood for a year now, especially the last few months and so it cannot be anything I said as I am almost frighteningly friendly to people.

This fool last night began having a go at my rather dapper Swaine Adeney & Brigg jacket before staring at me and mumbling under his breath. I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with menacing winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.

Now 15 years ago I would have thought this was brilliant and delighted in beating his head off the bar, but I have grown up since then, so why cant he use his superpowers to detect that?

Do any other Arrsers have a magical ability to attract gobshites in pubs and if so, any suggestion as to why so they can be avoided in future?
Click to expand...

You must stop facing North so much

node, Sep 15, 2007

#1
the_boy_syrup Book Reviewer

BlotBangRub said:

Last night I went out to the pub with a friend and for the second time in as many weeks some random, drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I am talking about the slightly unhinged, bi-polar, self loathing bellend who of course thinks he is as hard as ten men, and that I am somehow interested in his opinions and posturing.

Two weeks ago it was some illiterate pikey t**t and his equally obnoxious 20 stone wife, and last night it was some bald headed fool from Leicester.

Now what I want to know is why me??

I have been in an almost unprecedented good mood for a year now, especially the last few months and so it cannot be anything I said as I am almost frighteningly friendly to people.

This fool last night began having a go at my rather dapper Swaine Adeney & Brigg jacket before staring at me and mumbling under his breath. I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with menacing winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.

Now 15 years ago I would have thought this was brilliant and delighted in beating his head off the bar, but I have grown up since then, so why cant he use his superpowers to detect that?

Do any other Arrsers have a magical ability to attract gobshites in pubs and if so, any suggestion as to why so they can be avoided in future?
Click to expand...

I don't remember talking to you although the jacket rings a bell

the_boy_syrup, Sep 15, 2007

#2
LordVonHarley

BlotBangRub said:

drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.
Click to expand...

Looks like he was flirting with you

LordVonHarley, Sep 15, 2007

#3
BlotBangRub

LordVonHarley said:

BlotBangRub said:

drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.
Click to expand...

Looks like he was flirting with you
Click to expand...

Perhaps he was struggling with his sexuality, finding my slight 'gayness' attractive.

BlotBangRub, Sep 15, 2007

#4
BlotBangRub

LordVonHarley said:

BlotBangRub said:

LordVonHarley said:

BlotBangRub said:

drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.
Click to expand...

Looks like he was flirting with you
Click to expand...

Perhaps he was struggling with his sexuality, finding my slight 'gayness' attractive.
Click to expand...

He might have learned his chat up technique in prison.
Stage one - Let the target know he is a target
Stage two - flirt and wink
Stage three - follow the target into the toilets and beat target into a coma and consumate your love by buggering untill his hoop colapses.
Stage four - spoon.
Click to expand...

I hope not, I hate spooning.

BlotBangRub, Sep 15, 2007

#5
taboo

LordVonHarley said:

BlotBangRub said:

drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.
Click to expand...

Looks like he was flirting with you
Click to expand...

Mr lordy,You seem to know about these things!

taboo, Sep 15, 2007

#6
LordVonHarley

taboo said:

LordVonHarley said:

BlotBangRub said:

drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.
Click to expand...

Looks like he was flirting with you
Click to expand...

Mr lordy,You seem to know about these things!
Click to expand...

I was stalking BlotBangRub at the time, every one should have a hobby don't you know!

LordVonHarley, Sep 15, 2007

#7
BlotBangRub

LordVonHarley said:

taboo said:

LordVonHarley said:

BlotBangRub said:

drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.
Click to expand...

Looks like he was flirting with you
Click to expand...

Mr lordy,You seem to know about these things!
Click to expand...

I was stalking BlotBangRub at the time, every one should have a hobby don't you know!
Click to expand...

Stalking Arrsers is my hobby, there could be copyright problems here.

BlotBangRub, Sep 15, 2007

#8
tangosix

BlotBangRub said:

Last night I went out to the pub with a friend and for the second time in as many weeks some random, drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I am talking about the slightly unhinged, bi-polar, self loathing bellend who of course thinks he is as hard as ten men, and that I am somehow interested in his opinions and posturing.

Two weeks ago it was some illiterate pikey t**t and his equally obnoxious 20 stone wife, and last night it was some bald headed fool from Leicester.

Now what I want to know is why me??

I have been in an almost unprecedented good mood for a year now, especially the last few months and so it cannot be anything I said as I am almost frighteningly friendly to people.

This fool last night began having a go at my rather dapper Swaine Adeney & Brigg jacket before staring at me and mumbling under his breath. I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with menacing winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.

Now 15 years ago I would have thought this was brilliant and delighted in beating his head off the bar, but I have grown up since then, so why cant he use his superpowers to detect that?

Do any other Arrsers have a magical ability to attract gobshites in pubs and if so, any suggestion as to why so they can be avoided in future?
Click to expand...

Hello BlotBangRub,

are you by any chance Michael Yon?

http://www.michaelyon-online.com/wp/danger-close-chapter-one.htm

tangosix

tangosix, Sep 15, 2007

#9
ViolentBadger

Benny687 said:

devilish said:

just punch his fcukin' lights out FFS! If he's being aggressive towards you then he's asking for it, slap the tw@t out of his socks.
Click to expand...

agreed. its all well and good being 'grown up' and 'not sinking to their level' etc. but some people are just asking for it.

in future, a nice aggressive 'fack off!'. if irritation persists, deck him.

possibly slap his wife/troll/chavvedupmongwoman just for good measure.
Click to expand...

I'd deck wife/troll/chavvedupmongwoman first

ViolentBadger, Sep 15, 2007

#10
Machristo

BlotBangRub said:

Last night I went out to the pub with a friend and for the second time in as many weeks some random, drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I am talking about the slightly unhinged, bi-polar, self loathing bellend who of course thinks he is as hard as ten men, and that I am somehow interested in his opinions and posturing.

Two weeks ago it was some illiterate pikey t**t and his equally obnoxious 20 stone wife, and last night it was some bald headed fool from Leicester.

Now what I want to know is why me??

I have been in an almost unprecedented good mood for a year now, especially the last few months and so it cannot be anything I said as I am almost frighteningly friendly to people.

This fool last night began having a go at my rather dapper Swaine Adeney & Brigg jacket before staring at me and mumbling under his breath. I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with menacing winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.

Now 15 years ago I would have thought this was brilliant and delighted in beating his head off the bar, but I have grown up since then, so why cant he use his superpowers to detect that?

Do any other Arrsers have a magical ability to attract gobshites in pubs and if so, any suggestion as to why so they can be avoided in future?
Click to expand...

What pub were you in?

Machristo, Sep 15, 2007

#11
milsum

BlotBangRub said:

ViolentBadger said:

BlotBangRub said:

...dapper Swaine Adeney & Brigg jacket..
Click to expand...

There's yer problem.
Click to expand...

I would have fitted in better in this particular establishment had I been clad head to toe in polyester and got myself a few tatoos, but frankly I would rather maintain the dignity that comes with being beaten up for your beliefs than compromise my standards that far.
Click to expand...

Is a jacket a belief?

Never look too happy in a pub. It scares the locals, who are by definition miserable b@stards or they would be elsewhere having a good time.

milsum, Sep 18, 2007

#12
Biped Book Reviewer

BlotBangRub said:

Last night I went out to the pub with a friend and for the second time in as many weeks some random, drunken dickhead felt an irresistible, almost magnetic attraction to me.

I am talking about the slightly unhinged, bi-polar, self loathing bellend who of course thinks he is as hard as ten men, and that I am somehow interested in his opinions and posturing.

Two weeks ago it was some illiterate pikey t**t and his equally obnoxious 20 stone wife, and last night it was some bald headed fool from Leicester.

Now what I want to know is why me??

I have been in an almost unprecedented good mood for a year now, especially the last few months and so it cannot be anything I said as I am almost frighteningly friendly to people.

This fool last night began having a go at my rather dapper Swaine Adeney & Brigg jacket before staring at me and mumbling under his breath. I was then treated to comments such as 'I am watching you', combined with menacing winks and when I went to the bar he even moved position to stand right next to me.

Now 15 years ago I would have thought this was brilliant and delighted in beating his head off the bar, but I have grown up since then, so why cant he use his superpowers to detect that?

Do any other Arrsers have a magical ability to attract gobshites in pubs and if so, any suggestion as to why so they can be avoided in future?
Click to expand...

People have a need to gravitate to others they can relate to. Often it is due to similarities in personality. Not a dig, just an unbiased observation.

Biped, Sep 18, 2007

#13
Dilfor

Bisley_Bob said:

BlotBangRub said:

I would have fitted in better in this particular establishment had I been clad head to toe in polyester and got myself a few tatoos, but frankly I would rather maintain the dignity that comes with being beaten up for your beliefs than compromise my standards that far.
Click to expand...

Well thats your problem right there. You're going into a pub full of nasty illiterate shell-suited retards, therefore the chances of one of them deciding to talk to you is pretty dam high!
Try drinking in a nice country pub, problem solved!

Edited to say: O my god Garhwal you physics nerd!
Click to expand...

No zir. We don't like em gayers in our village pub, neither, I tell thee.

Dilfor, Sep 18, 2007

#14
BlotBangRub

milsum said:

BlotBangRub said:

ViolentBadger said:

BlotBangRub said:

...dapper Swaine Adeney & Brigg jacket..
Click to expand...

There's yer problem.
Click to expand...

I would have fitted in better in this particular establishment had I been clad head to toe in polyester and got myself a few tatoos, but frankly I would rather maintain the dignity that comes with being beaten up for your beliefs than compromise my standards that far.
Click to expand...

Is a jacket a belief?
Never look too happy in a pub. It scares the locals, who are by definition miserable b@stards or they would be elsewhere having a good time.
Click to expand...

Milsum, with me, I am afraid it is.

I am that shallow.

I guess you are right, as for various reasons I am almost insufferably happy, and maybe that is what annoyed?

PS Biped, f**k you!

BlotBangRub, Sep 18, 2007

#15

(You must log in or sign up to reply here.)

Page 1 of 2