split from mouths

[musicalmarvin]

That python - pies story had me pi--ing my pants for 5 minutes. Got a lot of odd looks from people in the library....

 

[Bowser-Mong]

A MATE CAUGHT HIS FINGER IN THE CARDOOR AND SCREAMED BLUEMURDER. LOTS OF FCUKIN BARSTEWARD CNUT. HIS DAUGHTER HEARD IT (SHE IS 3) AND PROCEEDED TO REPEAT IT IN FRONT OF THE MISSUS.

 

[turnip]

Iserlohn pads NAAFI, back in 1989. Normal saturday morning mayhem, bloke pushing trolley full of fags and beer, Wife Of rushing about with trolley full of food and kids, both screaming at brats to shut up/keep up/put that back/behave.

Long queue at checkouts, tactical product placement of sweets in checkout aisle. Angelic looking little girl between mummy and daddy, asking for sweets.

"Please mummy, can I have some sweets?"
"No, I've told you already"
"Please daddy, can I have some sweets?"
"No, your mother said no"
"Please Mummy, I want some sweets"
"NO!. How many more times"
"Mummy, if you dont buy me some sweets I'll tell everybody that you had Daddy's willy in your mouth last night"

A pool of silence radiated out. Literally. The entire pads naafi went silent within seconds, as the two parents stood there dying, wishing the ground would open up and swallow them. And then the sniggers started. And the little girl stood there beaming up at each parent.

I can remember hearing that one about the Pads NAAFI in Aplerbeck, Dortmund in about 86, must have happened somewhere though!

 

[Silent_Scope]

Ok, im a music class and my PC friends are talking about how evil the army are, what murders etc...now for about 20 mins i was getting more and more annoyed till I exploded and said for all to hear: F*cking ragheads deserve all they get! .....not one of my greatest moments, and led to a few weeks of being labled a racist and an in depth chat with a concerned form tutour....

 

[Mutt]

Ok, im a music class and my PC friends are talking about how evil the army are, what murders etc...now for about 20 mins i was getting more and more annoyed till I exploded and said for all to hear: F*cking ragheads deserve all they get! .....not one of my greatest moments, and led to a few weeks of being labled a racist and an in depth chat with a concerned form tutour....

Hmm. Your 'tutour' appears to have hit the nail on the head, youth. If you heard a 'raghead' say 'all those feringhee bastards deserve all they get' would you consider him racist, uninformed and generally a bit of a shit? Of course you would. You're not impressing anyone.

I think I may have forgotten something. Err...Ah yes! You're a knob.

 

[tiny_lewis]

lol!