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Splashing - Is It Time To Go Muslim

I grew up next to a river and spent many a late evening fishing. It amazed me how many neighbours, blokes came down just after dusk to piss directly in the river. Eating the trout was always a worry.
 

Yokel

LE
You could use a mini project to illuminate the toilet bowl with an image to inspire you, perhaps and old boss or a politician. Who would not want to piss on a SJW or Z list celebrity?

Maybe you need to piss into a funnel to catch any off axis leakage? A funnel with an image of my old boss.
 
This is a load of Bowldedash pee in a manner you find comfortable , stand and deliver or sit and contemplate
 

HCL

LE
I saw a documentary on the internet the other day where a nice young nurse did that for some fellow. He was all bandaged up from head to toe so the poor chap couldn't reach his willy. She jammed it in quite hard and he was thrashing about a bit. I bet he wishes he went private now rather than NHS.

That brought tears to my eyes remembering the endoscope examination of my prostate. Coated in anaesthetic gel, my arrse! Lying b!tch!
 
Let "He-wee" be your friend.

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Childish I know, but I always liked the fact that I use my right hand to wipe my arrse when shaking hands with people who probably despised me as an unbeliever.
 
After 42 years of purgatory wedded bliss, I think I've my mate has finally been rumbled. His SWMBO is asking if he wouldn't mind sitting down to urinate.

Thirty years ago I could push a fag end from one end of a six foot long urinal and back again in a single sustained squirt. The stream was that strong it could unblock a toilet, and remove mortar from a Brickies trowel.

These days I could cover a square yard of grass or soak someone elses boots standing three feet away.

So, inevitably when SWMBO is on ROP's Ablution cleaning detail, fings ain't what they used to be if you get my drift. So I am wondering if now is a good time to follow the example of those of the fafe in the belief that it's the right thing to do for reasons of hygiene and religion and stuff. Or would this be going against my European Human Rights as a man to be able to stand up when urinating.

Or is SWMBO out of order and needs to wear two pairs of Marigolds and STFU.




Sit. After 42 years of marriage, the obligatory fart at the end can't be trusted.
 
Tell her to stand up. Maybe then she'll appreciate what a good job you're still currently making of things.

It's about time they started appreciating us.

They actually make a funnel like thing to assist women to pee standing. Sort of oval at the top pointing forward. My (now former) wife was issued one by the USN when she deployed to Kuwait and Bahrain. Made of a flexy sort of silicone rubber stuff.

AS to moslems apparently it is a sin to either pee or poop either facing towards or away from Mecca.
The city I worked for was remodeling an old brick school into city offices, gutting the building entirely. They had all the rough plumbing installed when they realized that the toilets all faced either towards or away from Mecca. Quite a large sum was spent realigning all the plumbing to a halal configuration.
 
They actually make a funnel like thing to assist women to pee standing. Sort of oval at the top pointing forward. My (now former) wife was issued one by the USN when she deployed to Kuwait and Bahrain. Made of a flexy sort of silicone rubber stuff.

AS to moslems apparently it is a sin to either pee or poop either facing towards or away from Mecca.
The city I worked for was remodeling an old brick school into city offices, gutting the building entirely. They had all the rough plumbing installed when they realized that the toilets all faced either towards or away from Mecca. Quite a large sum was spent realigning all the plumbing to a halal configuration.
 

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BuggerAll

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Blimey,

For a minute I thought that our Muslim brethren were now 'splashing' in the same way as another culture do (mainly in London).

The have misspelled it. Should be crap music.
 
90% came out of the she wee, 10% dribbled down her leg, the smelly tramp.


Should just insert a wine spiget in her urethra...........................with a hammer.
The US military version, to the best of my recollection, is wider, more flexible and does not have the extended spout.
I have no real knowledge as to how many times the LCDR used it but she mentioned it was handy faced with filthy latrine seats.
 
90% came out of the she wee, 10% dribbled down her leg, the smelly tramp.


Should just insert a wine spiget in her urethra...........................with a hammer.
Leakage on her hands and then she's touching her face, scratching her nose, stroking her hair back.

You just gotta love posh birds..
 

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