Spiteful Revenge on Dogs & Owners

#1
A bush on a grassy area across the street has become the personal toilet for dogs in the area. Owners bring them in droves. :x

Twisted ARRSErs what powders, potions, traps, witchcraft etc. do you know of that will make these animals go loopy, run in front of cars or turn and eat their stupid fcuking owners?
 

Trans-sane

LE
Book Reviewer
#2
If the dogs sniff about a lot you could try dusting the area with anphetamines. Or Cocaine. Or both if you are feeling particularly nasty.
 
#4
jarrod248 said:
Just go and speak to the council make them put up some dog poo bins and then people might use them. If they don't the council will make some extra £££ fining them. Don't harm the dogs it's the owners who have the problem.

Fcuk off!!! Reason has no place within these walls!

Air rifle would be good. Or tranquiliser-laced sausages. Or maybe follow them home and take a shite outside his front door.
 
#5
Poor_Bloody_Infantry said:
jarrod248 said:
Just go and speak to the council make them put up some dog poo bins and then people might use them. If they don't the council will make some extra £££ fining them. Don't harm the dogs it's the owners who have the problem.

Fcuk off!!! Reason has no place within these walls!

Air rifle would be good. Or tranquiliser-laced sausages. Or maybe follow them home and take a shite outside his front door.
or laxatives perhaps?
 
#6
jarrod248 said:
Just go and speak to the council make them put up some dog poo bins and then people might use them. If they don't the council will make some extra £££ fining them. Don't harm the dogs it's the owners who have the problem.
Four ignorant dog owners brought their dogs to the same bush in less than half an hour this evening. I imagine I would have been told to fcuk off by approaching any of them politely so the nastier the revenge the better. Besides, to introduce yourself by introduction will have your cards marked when something happens to their dogs. I'll have the upper hand and fun on this issue thanks v. much!
 
#8
A burst of concentrated small arms fire will probably do the trick, if not fill a tuppaware bowl with some molten lava and pour in on the dogs back while it crimps on off.

Remember to wear safety gloves when picking up hot stuff from a volcano
 
#9
Wait until the dog has done it´s business, then as the owner walks off, run out pick up the still warm dog pie and throw it at the owner.

Shout something not abusive like "You forgot to poop scoop" or similar.

I´m a dog owner and I hate these people as much as anyone, it doesn´t take 2 secs to tidy up straight after, I even pick up other poos if they are close by to my dogs deposit.

The sh1ts who leave dog poo are on a par with those who litter, or leave condoms or needles lying about.

Failing that (seein as this is the NAAFI) a scythe blade set about chest height for a human. When a smellometer smells the poo, it starts a timer. After a certain time the scythe comes out and chops the bad owner in half, but leaving the dog un affected.

If the owner is a good one, they will be bent over picking up the dogs deposit, so the blade will pass over them in a Raiders of the lost ark styleee.
 
#10
try the repost through the letter box issue usually works a treat i find that or smear it all over the aformentioned owners car window, and then using a latex covered glove you can do some imaginative doodles in it for them to view.

Submitted by one pissed of puppy ha ha :x
 
#11
Post the turds throught the cnuts letterbox, or put in a shoebox with a sign labelled "Return to sender" and leave outside their door.
 

Mongo

LE
Kit Reviewer
#13
Edited for being an idiot: Yeah, the alarm mines would be good..


Set up a few so that they go off when the owner runs away from the first one!
 
#14
alarm mines
put the resulting video on utube :D
nothing says go away like a 12 bore blank :D
 
#15
Some very extreme yet excellent ideas. I have an air pistol but I don't think this would cause enough pain on the hounds. With my balcony window open I want to be able to hear the dogs whimper. I don't want to long term harm the dog but accidental death of dogs would be OK.

There's dog haters forums out there FFS! 'Mild' poisen seems a fun bet at the mo'.

P.S. Is taking out a guide dog fair game?
 
#17
The dogs in this scenario are certainly the innocent party and are not to blame. It’s the bloody unreasonable dog owners who you should wreak revenge on. Try posting it back through their letter box or wiping it across their car windows, before leaving your calling card with a note saying “this morning I noticed you forgot this!” :twisted:
 
#19
I'd go with leaving small bits of laxative chocolate lying around. Of course, there is a small chance that the chocolate will poison the dog, but the results should be effective and ideally delayed enough that the dog will be back in its owner's car/house before blast-off.

So - crap everywhere and a hefty vet's bill as well.
 

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