Spit or swallow?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by SONAR-BENDER, Jan 8, 2013.

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  1. Now I have your undivided attention – do I spit or swallow! I have a chest cold – not man flu, no bunged up nose, just a hacking and productive cough which is producing some great dockyard oysters. First thing in the morning the first cough produces fine lumps of quivering green jelly that almost refuses to descend the plughole – if I spit.

    So, in days of old our ancestors would probably have spat, BUT, does swallowing do (me) any harm? If so/not, then why? I guess the stomach acids would overpower a lump of wobbly snot, but am I correct? It is after al a heaving mass of nasty bugs.

    [FONT=&quot]I anticipate some ‘interesting’ replies, hence posting in the NAAFI, but it would be nice to know the ‘correct’ answer! Thank you in advance and I’m sorry if the thread title raised false hope![/FONT]
  2. It doesn't matter if you swallow it.
  3. Get them scoffed mate.

    It's only a bit of phlegm after all, I'm not sure on the finer points of its nutritional value, but it won't do you any harm.
    Swallow enough of them and you'll lose a few of those "christmas pounds" too, as you'll feel fed.

    If you've had it a while though It may be a chest infection, so you're best off visiting lots of old people and weaklings and aids ridden cunts who will hopefully be too weak to fight it off and instead of wondering about the pro's and cons of swallowing their "gremmies" will in fact, die.

    • Like Like x 2
  4. Aye that's right,apparently marc almond drinks pints of the cunt.
  5. Yeah but he probably has Aids.
  6. Aye for about fifty years I think.
  7. Don't swallow, spit it out. If you're bothered about blocking the sink then spit into the bog and flush it away.

    Snot should be white. If it's green on anyother colour then it's either dirty or infected. Either way your body wants you to get rid of it.

    spit should be clear, any other colour and it's probably got flem with it. Flem is another form of snot. Don't keep it, get rid.

    Same thing with sniffing. Don't sniff - BLOW YOUR NOSE instead! Then get rid. If you sniff then your body has to deal with it when it really wants to be shot of it. Besides, if you keep it then where's it going to go? Some of it will just go down the back of your throat, but some will go to your sinuses and clog them up. The infection will just sit and incubate in your sinuses, keeping the illness going a bit longer. So don't keep it, get rid of it.

    Take some extra fluids and your preferred creature comforts. Such as sucking on a Fisherman's Friend...
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Never did me any harm.
  9. Oops I thought yer were talking about spunk .
  10. I understand Jarrod has a couple of piscatorial mates....
  11. Bad Aids I assume?
  12. No it's great he'll be able to wear all his old clothes from the 80's.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. He still does.
    • Like Like x 2
  14. What ,fishermen?
  15. No swallowing.