Spending Nothing At X-Mas

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Dec 11, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Spent the evening with my pal, Hal [ Harold, but hates the name ], a really great fellow of the ' never held a job more than a week ' -type.. but a hoot at bars and parties..

    anyway, he showed me his latest scheme/scam/brilliant idea..

    He surfed the weeb for ' good causes' , downloaded their logos and letterhead typefaces, etc.. and put together fancy testimonials/certificates which he then added the names of 'special friends/family members' indicating that he had made generous donation on their behalf to save the snails, buy a chunk of Brazil rainforest, fed mountain gorillas, etc., etc.,..all good causes and such [ even keyed them to specific pet causes ]...

    Hal does no shopping, no spending money, no tromping the malls...who's going to question a donation to a worthy cause? ..

    sounds like a perfect 'out'..

    not sure I'm up to pulling this off guilt free..but.. hell.. it sure sounds a work of art...
  2. He sounds like a right freeloading cnut, did he show you the fake charity certificate he has prepared for your present?

    Have you found him a job for his? Go on sit some interviews for him
  3. I'm waiting for Christmas morning to open my envelope and find he's made a 'generous donation ' to ARRSE in my name and bagged me a bunch of walt medals for under my Avatar..
  4. Phwoar! That's a worthwhile gift everyone will then think your well 'ally' and 'warry' but how can he do it if he won't spend his own money?
  5. We gave him your credit card details - then found you had maxed your limit. So we robbed your house last night for things to sell. Check out the missing presents under the tree ;-)
  6. Nowt wrong with that.
  7. Yes do for my BBQ with garlic and coriander. Yum :D
  8. Good on him. I bought her a bracelet once. I checked out the Charity shops and got a nice display case lined with velvet and gold braid, cost me about 40p then went to Argos or Ratners for the bracelet which cost me another quid or so. She has it pride of place in the jewellry box today, I haven't the guts to tell her.
  9. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Told the missus that now we are a family, it no longer behooves us to drive around the country on xmas/boxing day visiting all the tard family members in inbred cousins. Just saved a packet on fuel and pressies.
  10. So he's a great bloke for conning his friends and family, and for stiffing charities?

    No, he's an utter cunt. I hope Santa brings him that shoeing he's been asking for all his life. Fucking waster. I hope he's killed by a half-sucked Werthers Original.
  11. Sounds like you're proud to know this idiot.

    Personally I'd be down the cop shop grassing the tw@t
  12. can i be the first to say that i'm outraged - let the bandwagon roll. 8O

    me thinks this is a WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 8)
  13. It may very well be a wah, but that's no reason not to get outraged.

    I'd thought of taking that primal scream therapy where you go to an open space and just scream incoherently until you get all the anger out your system.

    Unfortunately AADW was fully booked.
  14. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Primal Scream Therapy. Sounds like a hoot.

    Hat please, thank you, yes, and the coat, cheers, was that a beep outside?
  15. Not a WAH..and, I'm not condoning his actions, really.. though as a a cheap way out of buying stuff, it is pretty impressive/inventive..

    and, for Hal, a big improvement over his ' presents' last year where he gave everyone Chiapets..[ You can get Homer Simpson heads and all sorts of chia stuff now..] - those things are downright scary and weird...

    green moss/lichen growing out of dumbass pots -how does that give ' pleasure-feel good at Christmas 'emotions? Hal was rightly drubbed for that errror in judgement [ though he did get a ' bulk deal' on them in keeping with his usual limited means ]...