Speech Impediment

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by LazyCaretaker, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked "Could I have a fucket please?"

    The assistant asked"Pardon sir?".

    "Can I have a fucket please?" Replied the man.

    "Oh you mean a bucket!" The shop assistant replied.

    The old man said "Yes, that's what I said". So the man paid for his bucket and went into the antique shop.




    In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked - "Can I have a cock please?"

    The cashier looked very puzzled and asked "Pardon?".

    The man again asked "Can I have a cock please?"

    The cashier replied "Oh you mean a clock! - yes certainly sir."

    So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop.




    The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant and asked "Can I have a bum please?"

    The assistant said "Sorry sir what did you say?".

    So he repeated himself "Can I have a bum please?".

    The assistant said " Oh right, you mean a bun!".

    The old man said "Yes that's what I said in the first place." So the man bought a bun and walked out of the shop.




    As he was walking down the street a little old lady came up to him and asked "Excuse me sir, but do you know the time?"

    The man replied "Yes certainly, hold my bum and fucket while I get my cock out."