Spastic Sleepers

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by JWRRC318, Apr 16, 2009.

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  1. I can't be the only one who is a freak in my sleep surely, I frequently find that I do the strangest things while supposedly in the land of nod. Last night for instance I woke about 3 times jerking because I was 'falling', I also dreamt that I was on parade and shouting something at the DI when I woke up suddenly as whispered it! Anyone else ever had that? It's most odd!
    I also get up during the night and go for wanders to be woken up and have no recollection of how I got there, in the past I have emptied the contents of my mates bathroom cupboards, putting the contents of cupboard B in the bath, and cupboard As contents in cupboard B.
    Anyone else do strange things in their sleep?

    Bit of a nothing post I know.. but I'm bored and it's a Thursday morning.
  2. I freak the GF out by laughing in my sleep
  3. Quite often when sleeping I am dreaming that I am just about to shout at somebody to fcuk off, as I'm doing this in my dream I awake and start shouting whatever insult I was about to do in my sleep. I've also once attempted to punch my pillow whilst I was sleeping, I however missed the pillow and hit the missus who happened to be asleep on the pillow.
  4. have been know to get out of bed and get back in the wrong bed!

    have a bath with no water in it,

    and climb in the dogs basket
  5. I have been known to wander about the house and get into a different bed some times other people have been it that bed.
  6. I used to do this, but it stopped once I sorted out some other stresses in my life.

    Another time I involuntarily jerked my arm out and backhanded a young officer on the next mattress to me in a mountain lodge in Bayern. I did feel bad about that as he was a decent enough bloke.
  7. Mrs Dont talks in her sleep, sometimes we have argued for about 30 mins before I realised the stupid bitch was sleep talking.
  8. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer

    The falling thing is farking horrible. I've had that plenty of times, and I always wake up just as I'm about to splat. That little twitch you get as you wake up is scary.

    My missus talks in her sleep, although not as much now as she did a couple of years ago. I've managed to keep a conversation going for over a minute before she wakes up and asks me what I'm on about :D

    My best one, though, apparently happened last week. Missus woke up because I'd supposedly flicked her quite hard on the end of the nose. At first she thought it was a nudge or something when I'd turned over in my sleep, but then I looked her square in the eye, grinned, laughed and rolled over. I remembered nothing of this in the morning, but I got a serious bollocking for it anyway!
  9. I have sometimes started touching up the missus in my sleep which wakes her up in the mood for a seeing to she then proceeds to wake me up and i'll say oh sorry didnt mean to wake you and turn over and go back to sleep.
    I make my own breakfast the following morning
  10. I read and watch the wrong books. I got stabbed in my sleep by some chavs and my mate ate the dressing infront of me laughing as I died. Had one the other day in Northern Ireland, watching my mate get shot by the IRA and I shot the cunts repeatedly but my mate died.

    I'm not in the army. I read the wrong books. Too much Andy McCab. I'm such a walt
  11. my best has to be headbutting the wall (i dreamed that some people were through a container at me so i jumped to the side)

    didn't know where i was, was concust for 5 minutes until it dawned on me what happened. stumbled into the bathroom (after getting a cramp :roll: ) and found my face and hands covered in blood. cleaned myself up, rapped something around my head and went back to bed.

    still got the inch long scar on my forehead, makes me look well 'ard and all that :roll:
  12. Most definitely. I regularly talk and hum, have the falling dream at least once every couple of weeks, wake up in the weirdest positions (including once under the bed and a few times 'topping and tailing', have sleep-walked (though not recently), and have been known to 'suffer' (heh!) from 'involuntary' kicking and arm-flailing. I have a sleep-related excuse for just about everything! :twisted:
  13. I used to shout really loud when I was asleep on stag - oh, you arent supposed to do that are you?
  14. Four or five years ago I rolled over and started urinating on my wife. The self warmth woke me up.
  15. I was shagging a pillow once. Cnuting woke up as well. Especially as I hadn't got laid in ages. Tried to get back to sleep. Could't so I noshed one