Spastic Sleepers

#1
I can't be the only one who is a freak in my sleep surely, I frequently find that I do the strangest things while supposedly in the land of nod. Last night for instance I woke about 3 times jerking because I was 'falling', I also dreamt that I was on parade and shouting something at the DI when I woke up suddenly as whispered it! Anyone else ever had that? It's most odd!
I also get up during the night and go for wanders to be woken up and have no recollection of how I got there, in the past I have emptied the contents of my mates bathroom cupboards, putting the contents of cupboard B in the bath, and cupboard As contents in cupboard B.
Anyone else do strange things in their sleep?

Bit of a nothing post I know.. but I'm bored and it's a Thursday morning.
 
#3
Quite often when sleeping I am dreaming that I am just about to shout at somebody to fcuk off, as I'm doing this in my dream I awake and start shouting whatever insult I was about to do in my sleep. I've also once attempted to punch my pillow whilst I was sleeping, I however missed the pillow and hit the missus who happened to be asleep on the pillow.
 
#6
Diago said:
I freak the GF out by laughing in my sleep
I used to do this, but it stopped once I sorted out some other stresses in my life.

Another time I involuntarily jerked my arm out and backhanded a young officer on the next mattress to me in a mountain lodge in Bayern. I did feel bad about that as he was a decent enough bloke.
 
#7
Mrs Dont talks in her sleep, sometimes we have argued for about 30 mins before I realised the stupid bitch was sleep talking.
 

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#8
The falling thing is farking horrible. I've had that plenty of times, and I always wake up just as I'm about to splat. That little twitch you get as you wake up is scary.

My missus talks in her sleep, although not as much now as she did a couple of years ago. I've managed to keep a conversation going for over a minute before she wakes up and asks me what I'm on about :D

My best one, though, apparently happened last week. Missus woke up because I'd supposedly flicked her quite hard on the end of the nose. At first she thought it was a nudge or something when I'd turned over in my sleep, but then I looked her square in the eye, grinned, laughed and rolled over. I remembered nothing of this in the morning, but I got a serious bollocking for it anyway!
 
#9
I have sometimes started touching up the missus in my sleep which wakes her up in the mood for a seeing to she then proceeds to wake me up and i'll say oh sorry didnt mean to wake you and turn over and go back to sleep.
I make my own breakfast the following morning
 
#10
I read and watch the wrong books. I got stabbed in my sleep by some chavs and my mate ate the dressing infront of me laughing as I died. Had one the other day in Northern Ireland, watching my mate get shot by the IRA and I shot the cunts repeatedly but my mate died.

I'm not in the army. I read the wrong books. Too much Andy McCab. I'm such a walt
 
#11
my best has to be headbutting the wall (i dreamed that some people were through a container at me so i jumped to the side)

didn't know where i was, was concust for 5 minutes until it dawned on me what happened. stumbled into the bathroom (after getting a cramp :roll: ) and found my face and hands covered in blood. cleaned myself up, rapped something around my head and went back to bed.

still got the inch long scar on my forehead, makes me look well 'ard and all that :roll:
 
#12
Most definitely. I regularly talk and hum, have the falling dream at least once every couple of weeks, wake up in the weirdest positions (including once under the bed and a few times 'topping and tailing', have sleep-walked (though not recently), and have been known to 'suffer' (heh!) from 'involuntary' kicking and arm-flailing. I have a sleep-related excuse for just about everything! :twisted:
 
#13
I used to shout really loud when I was asleep on stag - oh, you arent supposed to do that are you?
 
#15
I was shagging a pillow once. Cnuting woke up as well. Especially as I hadn't got laid in ages. Tried to get back to sleep. Could't so I noshed one
 
#17
Anyone had one of them dreams when you are having a fight with someone, but cant actually punch them no matter how hard you try. Very frustrating.

Also pissed in my locker a few times, but this is probably due to something else.
 
#18
Proper_Gander said:
my best has to be headbutting the wall (i dreamed that some people were through a container at me so i jumped to the side)

didn't know where i was, was concust for 5 minutes until it dawned on me what happened. stumbled into the bathroom (after getting a cramp :roll: ) and found my face and hands covered in blood. cleaned myself up, rapped something around my head and went back to bed.

still got the inch long scar on my forehead, makes me look well 'ard and all that :roll:
I headbutted my bedside table when I was 18 just before I went off too basic, looked a right tw@t when I turned up with an egg on my forehead :roll:

I always talk in my sleep too, I tried to tell my sergeant that his brief was all wrong one time too, would have got such a bollocking if he hadn't realised I was a sleep nutter.
 
#19
A few friends have got up in the night a pissed in various places. Leek Camp, SSgt, got up, lifted mates suitcase lid like a toilet seat and proceeded to all over the kit. Another always goes to wherever his toilet is in his own house, so on rugby tour if you share with him make sure you or your stuff is nowhere near where he thinks he can have a piss.
 
#20
I often doze off, then dream that the back door is unlocked. So I wake up, go down and check it - it's always locked.

I'm hoping that getting this down on the interweb will clear it from my subconscious and I won't do it any more. Some hope.
 
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