Spams Oath of Allegiance

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by the_matelot, Sep 30, 2005.

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  1. Its funny how that we're different to the yanks but also so similar!!!!!!!!!!!

    US Air Force "Oath of Enlistment"

    I, Zoomie, swear to sign away 4 years of my useless life to the
    United States Air Force because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army
    and because the Marines frighten me.

    I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by
    others more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. I also
    swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our
    bike riding test as a valid form of exercise. I swear to uphold and
    defend the Constitution of the United States, even though I believe
    myself to be above that. I promise to walk around calling everyone
    by their first name because I know I'm not really in the military and
    I find it amusing to annoy the other services.

    I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will at
    all times be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion
    of my *snicker* "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean,
    donut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes,
    Chairborne Ranger. I will do no work unless someone is watching me
    (and it makes me look good), will annoy those around me,
    and will go home early every day.

    I consent to never getting promoted (EVER) and understand that all
    those whom I made fun of yesterday will probably outrank me tomorrow.
    So help me God.

    ___________________ _______________________
    Signature Date


    US Army "Oath of Enlistment"

    I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the
    United States Army because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB
    to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and
    the Navy won't take me because I can't swim.

    I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers in my boots
    because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to
    wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will
    continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my
    Drill Sergeant told me I am.

    I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of
    service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on
    my PT test. After completion of Basic Training, I will attend a
    different Army school once every other month and return knowing
    less than I did when I left.

    On my first trip home after Boot Camp I will walk around like I am
    cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife
    stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a smarter,
    better looking Air Force guy.

    While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting
    absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at
    1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave every day at 1300 to report
    back to the "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training
    whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end
    up working construction with my friends from high school. I will
    brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but
    will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So
    help me God.

    _________________________ ___________________________
    Signature Date


    US Navy "Oath of Enlistment"

    I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of
    my life to the United States Navy because I want to hang out with
    Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought
    the Air Force was too "corporate," and because I thought, "Hey, I
    like to swim... why not?"

    I promise to wear clothing what went out of style in 1976 and to have
    my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own.

    I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor man during
    the summer, and for Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to
    use a different language than the rest of the English speaking world,
    using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, and head" when I really mean
    "floor, wall, hat, and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact
    that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for
    that matter, are completely different from the other services and
    make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

    I will muster (whatever that is) at 0700 hrs every morning unless I
    am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around
    0930 hrs. I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point
    that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and
    still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently
    busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected
    for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite
    possibly illegal, whims of my new-found "colleagues." So help me

    ______________________ _______________________________
    Signature Date


    US Marine Corps "Oath of Enlistment"

    I, (pick a name the police won’t recognize,) swear...uhhh...high-and-tight...*grunt* cammies...ugh...Air Force women... HOORAH! So help me Corps

  2. I would be scared if the oaths were not all 100% authentic ..... :)

    Does anybody know the Italian or French oaths of alligence ?

  3. french and italian ones are surely-
    i swear to run away at the first sign of trouble.
  4. unlike us we get a bible to take with us they must get a white hanky
  5. One of my favourties:

    What does a USAF airman call a helicopter? - A helicopter.

    What does a USN sailor call a helicopter? - A helio.

    What does a US Amry soldier call a helicopter? - A Chopper.

    Whats does a USMC marine call a helicopter? - ug uurg m ug ug.

    As told to me by a former USMC LTC.