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Spaff all over the AGV

#1
Lads, I've been dicked to first parade a Rover for a little drive tomorrow (being used by another troop).

Needed to shovel away some snow and went to see if there was a shovel in the back (as there usually is)

I opened the rover back door, and sure enough the whole back appears to be glazed in white/transparent sticky liquid of great viscosity. The whole bloody back is drenched, there must be a good litre of the stuff.

It has enveloped everything; the seat, the comms gear, it's all across the inner walls and even dripping from the ceiling. It looks like the scene from a Jap Bukkake Jazz flick. One of the Lance Jacks gave it a sniff/taste test and confirmed that it was manjam.

What are the actions on for my discovery? Should I remember SOLIDC and inform the troopy responsible tomorrow of this sticky situation?

I really wish i was joking.....I think this might be a long night.

Cheers.,
Disco
 
#7
vvaannmmaann said:
Not the old "It was like that when I found it" excuse?
Mate, I wish I could expend that much Jam, but I can't.

I've never seen anything like it, when I opened the back door it was like a tsunami.

The wagon stinks, I put the heaters on to try to dry it up.....
 
#10
gunnerfalkey said:
vvaannmmaann said:
Not the old "It was like that when I found it" excuse?
Mate, I wish I could expend that much Jam, but I can't.

I've never seen anything like it, when I opened the back door it was like a tsunami.

The wagon stinks, I put the heaters on to try to dry it up.....
Cos as anyone who's ever stagged on in a sanger in any god forsaken hole knows, ......electrically heated manfat smells so much better :D
 
#11
biffins-bridge said:
gunnerfalkey said:
vvaannmmaann said:
Not the old "It was like that when I found it" excuse?
Mate, I wish I could expend that much Jam, but I can't.

I've never seen anything like it, when I opened the back door it was like a tsunami.

The wagon stinks, I put the heaters on to try to dry it up.....
Cos as anyone who's ever stagged on in a sanger in any god forsaken hole knows, ......electrically heated manfat smells so much better :D
Tastes better too! :lick:
 
#12
Right, I've thought of a serious cunning plan which at first appears ridiculous but when faced with cleaning a fellow man's Bobby Munk off the insides of a rover may not sound so stupid.

How easy do the registration plates come off a rover nowadays? just swap them for a similar radio fitted rover and no one will know (or at least until it next goes into REME but by then its too late. Simples. :p
 
#13
The way I usually get rid of man fat involves sucking like one of James Dyson's latest and greatest.

Which led me to the conclusion that the best way to remove the now dried baby gravy would be a good going over with a stiff brush then vacuum away the powdered man residue.
 
#14
D0lly86 said:
The way I usually get rid of man fat involves sucking like one of James Dyson's latest and greatest.

Which led me to the conclusion that the best way to remove the now dried baby gravy would be a good going over with a stiff brush then vacuum away the powdered man residue.
But in his earlier post he said he turned the heater on which kept the said manjuice alive and kicking in its liquid form.
 
#16
Stonker said:
Shame they never picked up on this as a storyline for 'Soldier, Soldier'.
I can see it now, Paddy and Garvey sing a sonnet while cleaning cum from the inside of a landrover with the straight faced CSM tries to catch them out!!
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#17
Stonker said:
Shame they never picked up on this as a storyline for 'Soldier, Soldier'.
They almost did
I was an extra in Cyprus and during a period of sitting about waiting for the call to glory I banged one out in one of the Landrovers that I was sitting in

Said Rover can be seen in the episode where they find a car hanging over a quarry and tie it to the Landie so Paddy can rescue the bird inside
 
#18
biffins-bridge said:
gunnerfalkey said:
vvaannmmaann said:
Not the old "It was like that when I found it" excuse?
Mate, I wish I could expend that much Jam, but I can't.

I've never seen anything like it, when I opened the back door it was like a tsunami.

The wagon stinks, I put the heaters on to try to dry it up.....
Cos as anyone who's ever stagged on in a sanger in any god forsaken hole knows, ......electrically heated manfat smells so much better :D
Beat me to it! The comforting smell of fried jizz...
 

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