Sorry you're dead but....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by HHH, May 26, 2012.

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  1. HHH

    HHH LE

    You wonder how someone actually wrote this and didn't think it was a bit odd !!

    BBC News - Rasharkin man offered condolences on his death
  2. CplFoodspoiler

    CplFoodspoiler War Hero Book Reviewer

    In Ireland you say? nuff sed.
  3. Sounds like a pikey company....or they are run by the same thinking as the MoD.
  4. Cunt still owed them a tenner I suppose. Quality. ;-)
  5. HHH

    HHH LE

    It was a English company that sent the letter!
  6. Whatever it is that you're on, I want some :)
  7. Erm...

    Attached Files:

  8. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    This is progress. At one time we used to send pictures of their dead sons. To their Mams. But we have moved on and now we offer insurance opportunities and a range of exciting products available on the internet. It is a lot less hassle than sticking down the flap of a D4 envelope in a chem suit so nobodies DNA gets on the photo. And writing "With lurve" in lipstick on the back.
  9. You appear to be as high as a fucking kite!
    • Like Like x 2
  10. That would explain the ramblings! I'll look forward to listening to you fall off the roof terrace after another 5 beers :thumright:
  11. He fell off the roof terrace two hours ago. The anaesthetic is wearing off his laptop - it had to go to PC World for emergency treatment.

    3123 is being taken to theatre as we speak. The prognosis is fair to poor. The rest of the beer is for the
    third person on the roof terrace.
  12. Stick with it 3123, we need more "kites" on this forum, the more the better. There are far too many serious old farts on here already.

    I went for a walk through the village today ( lovely sunny afternoon). I never realised there were so many old buggers - and their wives - living around me. They all seemed to be sleeping in the sun - in their gardens or conservatories - just waiting for that trumpet call to eternity!

    I intend to install one of those WW2 air raid sirens and have a "stand to" twice a day. Anyone who does not turn out will be directed to our local burial ground.

    ( I think I have had too much sun and wine today!)
  13. Their approach to retrieving money owed pretty much stinks but it's not uncommon to write to the family or the executor of somebody who has died to ask for money that is owed.

    Local authorities do it all the time. One example is if a Council tenant passes away and they want the property returned so they can re-let it. Families can be slow to clear personal effects so all the Council do until they get the keys back is claim the rent owed and send a bill to the family for the whole outstanding amount every week. It's a reminder to the family that the sooner they clear the property and return the keys, the less amount they will pay in rent for the now empty property

    Another is damage caused by road traffic accidents. Councils will often bill whoever is at fault for damaged caused to lamp posts and road signs and that includes the dead. There was a young lad quite some time ago who speeding down a hill lost control of his car a wrapped it around a lamp post like a piece of paper around a pencil. He was killed instantly. I was talking to the officer responsible for sending the bill to his estate for a new lamp post who had the letter in his hand ready to sign and post it.

    On this occasion to his credit, he smiled at me and said fuck it, I'm not doing it and screwed the letter up and threw it in the bin.
  14. mercurydancer

    mercurydancer LE Book Reviewer

    Captain Picard was ( or will be) French. Future tenses are somewhat difficult. Picard will be formidable against the Borg but I suspect that Capt Picard's ancestors will have planted trees on the way to Paris so the Germans can march in the shade. Again.
  15. RIP, Brave Peter