I am a fat unhealthy cunt and every day I buy two 500 mil bottles of Irn Bru (2 for £1.20) from a shop on my way to work. My pancreas is the size of a walnut and has been kicking me in the ribs since I was 18 but I don't mind. Anyway, Irn Bru are running some holiday competition just now and every day I am naive enough to check the label to see if I've won. (that's not why I buy it, by the way, honest) And I never do win. I always fucking lose. I have never won anything on these sweet wrapper/juice bottle type competitions. And I am probably drinking enough Irn Bru to be dead before Christmas. I have never known anybody who has won one of these things, either. Come to think of it, I've never known anybody who's won more than £25 in the lottery or on a scratch card either. I once won a signed copy of a CD from a big competition on XFM (god rest it's soul) but it's all scratched to fuck since I didn't buy CDs at the time anyway and used an ipod. Also, it wasn't announced on the radio show and was more like a random draw thing, not an actual competition. Have any of you ever won something worth talking about?