Iâve just spent a raunchy few days with a certain young lady & to my delight Iâve discovered some tight black knick-knacks with pink frilly bits on my bathroom floor. I suppose they belong to the aforementioned girlie, but Iâve really no idea how they got there! On closer inspection it appears that they have an unidentified residue on them, almost akin to superglue, tho I suspect it to be petrified girl-gunk.
Now this being a bachelor pad Iâve obviously given them a jolly good sniff, put them on my head & pranced around my flat, as well as wear them around my wobbly bits & do lunges, but I thought Iâd try something a little more daringâ¦
I have work on Mondayâ¦ Dare I wear them to my office? Bearing in mind, of course, that a large number of my colleagues are of the female variety & could clock on to my unusual mincing waddle-walk or sniff out the nauseous whiff of mouldy girl spooge with their superior female senses! Their tightness could also produce an unwanted air of perspiration & result in the dreaded sweaty bum crack- oo eer!
My desk is adjacent to the Directors office & I have to report in there every day, should my little secret be discovered by the higher echelons then my career could face some unusual prospects.
Naturally only a chap confident in his masculinity would wear some tartâs jollies, but I fear this knowledge shared with a wider audience may have a detrimental effect on my moral standing. If I were ever to face society again it would have to be in stockings & suspenders, what would my dear mother say?
Could you please provide your honest advice in these desperate times?