Soooo...what are you wearing?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by auscam, Jan 3, 2010.

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  1. Me- skidmarked sweatshop shorts, stained by the rancid, oily, lukewarm sweat that trickles turgidly through the 'manopause' hairs and stretchmarks. Evocative, eh?

  2. Good evening sir,

    I’ve just spent a raunchy few days with a certain young lady & to my delight I’ve discovered some tight black knick-knacks with pink frilly bits on my bathroom floor. I suppose they belong to the aforementioned girlie, but I’ve really no idea how they got there! On closer inspection it appears that they have an unidentified residue on them, almost akin to superglue, tho I suspect it to be petrified girl-gunk.

    Now this being a bachelor pad I’ve obviously given them a jolly good sniff, put them on my head & pranced around my flat, as well as wear them around my wobbly bits & do lunges, but I thought I’d try something a little more daring…

    I have work on Monday… Dare I wear them to my office? Bearing in mind, of course, that a large number of my colleagues are of the female variety & could clock on to my unusual mincing waddle-walk or sniff out the nauseous whiff of mouldy girl spooge with their superior female senses! Their tightness could also produce an unwanted air of perspiration & result in the dreaded sweaty bum crack- oo eer!

    My desk is adjacent to the Directors office & I have to report in there every day, should my little secret be discovered by the higher echelons then my career could face some unusual prospects.

    Naturally only a chap confident in his masculinity would wear some tart’s jollies, but I fear this knowledge shared with a wider audience may have a detrimental effect on my moral standing. If I were ever to face society again it would have to be in stockings & suspenders, what would my dear mother say?

    Could you please provide your honest advice in these desperate times?

    I have the honour, &c.

  3. how about choke to death on your own vomit? I'm sure everyone would agree that would be sound advice
  4. the usual Sunday attire - leather rat's-head cod-piece, pink PVC cape, old school tie and a gas mask.
  5. Black Y-fronts from M&S. For true men only.
  6. Didn't you mention that you might be getting divorced? None of my business, of course.
  7. A cheeky wee smile.
  8. How kind of you to remember. I'm getting in practice for being single again.
  9. I'm not being funny when I say this, but I 'm sat here in my Pierre cardin boxers.(Xmas present) The misses is upstairs recovering from a full on dose of HA2 I am very good.
  10. Quite.. 8O
  11. Stubbies, wife-beater, thongs and strap-on.
  12. At this time of night.... Commando :oops:
  13. Wot? Nobody's wearing a poppy right now? I'm outraged. :evil:
  14. Blue and white hoody, black track pants, sneakers ;)
  15. As you asked so nicely..............