Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by johnboyzzz, Dec 4, 2009.

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  1. Ok I have the son's wedding at the weekend, so apart from the usual grab the bridesmaid etc do Arrser's have any other useful suggestions :twisted:

    In your own time....................
  2. Don't forget to try and shag the daughter-in-laws mother, a quick grope and a back scuttle will endear you to them and ensure an invite to Xmas dinner.
  3. best do it on the top table too
    her husband wll thank you for saving him the chore later
  4. Oooh, forgot to add don't forget to start the obligatory scrap with one of your distant relations (or theirs) for looking at your missus "in that way" there by ensuring a 5 figure sum exclusive from The Scum when you hit the front page.
  5. Do not forget to grab the mike during the speeches, go into great depth on all the sluts your son has nailed before meeting "the right woman", a few jokes on how you "accidentally " walked in on them when they were in the middle of anal sex (always a favourite)!! a few barbed comments about Daughter in Laws parents!! then vomit all over the top table, make a pass at the Bridesmaids/brides mother, take a swing at the father in law, then pass out in your chair!!

    a job well done!!
  6. Make sure to neck as many pints as you can, and then when the dance floor is full, barge your way to the middle and show everyone how dancing should look by giving them a fine rendition of the squaddie two step.
  7. Not forgetting the "Dead Ant" when Lulu belts out the classic Shout :D