Sonnets from the South Atlantic

Discussion in 'Poetry Corner' started by The_Snail, Jan 3, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Inspired by Durchy, I have decided to put together a few of my own quality scribblings. Please feel free to add, or critique my efforts at prose. Here's my first one:

    The Upland Goose

    Oh Goose, Oh Goose
    Why are your bowels so loose?

    I'm copyrighting them all as well, and might make a book out of them at the end of the tour, it depends whether you like them or not.

    Sluggy xxx
     
  2. My first offering from my thus far 'interesting' tour..............

    An Ode to MPA

    IT'S SHIT HERE!!

    The End

    .......makes you think doesn't it?
     
  3. ...and in a rare flash of inspiration here is the next instalment.

    An Ode to Dale

    O Dale, O Dale,
    Stay off the ale,
    I don't want to carry you home no more!
    (no seriously, my backs in rag!)

    On New Years Eve
    You thought it was funny
    To take a run up
    And kick that bunny!

    Note: I said bunny - not benny! :wink:
     
  4. It seems the Falklands somehow brings the "I'm a POET and didn't know it" out in all of us! on my 3rd tour down there I was part of a section building an 8km flexible diesel pipeline from Whale (or Grave!) Cove up to Byron heights, we would send back to MPA on the odd chinook, 'Quotes from the Goats' (funny anecdotes and quotes by the lads in the section collected throughout the job up there) to a certain "Phantom Scribbler" who I believe is also an ARRSE'r but managed to remain a secret as to his identity in SHQ, he would somehow manage to include our smaller newsletter into the main Squadron official newsletter and get away with it! ...

    I'll try and find an old 'Quotes from the Goats' newsletter we sent back to MPA...
     
  5. That's not a sonnet you spastic.
     
  6. I've got another.

    Ode to K13

    Oh K13, K13,
    Show me your leg
    And I'll give you an egg.

    I'm getting well good at this now :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  7. I'm not claiming to be Keats, it's just the words come into my head and I feel I have to share them with you.

    Oh, and we're not spastics anymore, the new term is a "Durchy". So there.
     
  8. I could have told you it's shite, it was 19 years ago, infact 19 years ago today! Where has the time gone!!!
     
  9. The Little Known Australian Falklands Connection

    Bad, naughty, wicked goose!
    You shat on Dale, in climes obtuse
    She'll crush you with a piece of spruce
    Just as sure as my name's Bruce.

    The End, and shit.
     
  10. _Chimurenga_

    _Chimurenga_ LE Gallery Guru

    Thought I would try writing a proper sonnet -


    We bid farewell to the seasoned Scouser clerk
    Who leaves behind her smelly ginger hound,
    She was supposed to have gone to Falkirk
    But a spelling error sees her southward bound.
    But somehow it just isn't the same -
    The Bennies who are so unsightly
    Penguins who try to make JPA claims
    And sheep who have their own MOD-Nineties.
    The beaches that bloom with land-mines
    And the Stanley nightlife is a cruel farce
    Nowhere in the hemisphere to buy pink wine
    All she has left is her ARRSE.
    If this poem errs and you can prove it
    Then just ask one of the MODs to remove it.


    Chim
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. I may have wanked a little. :D
     
  12. A bit of love wee came out, or maybe the catheter leaked...NURSE!
     
  13. Simon Weston OBE
    He got burnt when at sea
    Asked to attend for charity
    Said, "Not without my usual fee!"
     
  14. You must have been 3 flights or so before me.
    Did you fly down on Britannia too, sampling the delights of nasty red wine and the curvacious cabin crew? (And that was just the men :wink: )
     
  15. In the year when all sat in the first Sand-pit
    I was sent to the Falklands to do my bit
    Arrived in the Jan when the sun was up high
    T'was with Sappers so partying was nigh
    Off to the Ashes Bar for handshakes and mead
    A welcome most warming I received indeed
    The job was dull and worse ever to meet
    But the nightlife was beer, pizza and repeat, repeat, repeat
    38 Facility was my home for the tour
    With holes smashed by 9 Sqn in every door
    The 'Death Star' they called it and with it came dread
    For any straying Crabs were often found dead
    To scrap with the RIC was a weekly event
    Grenadier Guards, bust lips and noses most bent
    I didn't laugh then at missing the Gulf War
    But I wouldn't have missed any of it for fuck all
    After reading my posting order I flipped my lid
    The wankers at records had made me Bennied
    Five months down there instead of the four
    As if I needed to drink any more
    So in June of that year I finally got back
    But it had a bonus as I'd at last made Lance-jack
     
    • Like Like x 1