Sonnets from the South Atlantic

#1
Inspired by Durchy, I have decided to put together a few of my own quality scribblings. Please feel free to add, or critique my efforts at prose. Here's my first one:

The Upland Goose

Oh Goose, Oh Goose
Why are your bowels so loose?

I'm copyrighting them all as well, and might make a book out of them at the end of the tour, it depends whether you like them or not.

Sluggy xxx
 
#2
My first offering from my thus far 'interesting' tour..............

An Ode to MPA

IT'S SHIT HERE!!

The End

.......makes you think doesn't it?
 
#3
...and in a rare flash of inspiration here is the next instalment.

An Ode to Dale

O Dale, O Dale,
Stay off the ale,
I don't want to carry you home no more!
(no seriously, my backs in rag!)

On New Years Eve
You thought it was funny
To take a run up
And kick that bunny!

Note: I said bunny - not benny! :wink:
 
#4
It seems the Falklands somehow brings the "I'm a POET and didn't know it" out in all of us! on my 3rd tour down there I was part of a section building an 8km flexible diesel pipeline from Whale (or Grave!) Cove up to Byron heights, we would send back to MPA on the odd chinook, 'Quotes from the Goats' (funny anecdotes and quotes by the lads in the section collected throughout the job up there) to a certain "Phantom Scribbler" who I believe is also an ARRSE'r but managed to remain a secret as to his identity in SHQ, he would somehow manage to include our smaller newsletter into the main Squadron official newsletter and get away with it! ...

I'll try and find an old 'Quotes from the Goats' newsletter we sent back to MPA...
 
#5
The_Snail said:
Inspired by Durchy, I have decided to put together a few of my own quality scribblings. Please feel free to add, or critique my efforts at prose. Here's my first one:

The Upland Goose

Oh Goose, Oh Goose
Why are your bowels so loose?

I'm copyrighting them all as well, and might make a book out of them at the end of the tour, it depends whether you like them or not.

Sluggy xxx
That's not a sonnet you spastic.
 
#6
I've got another.

Ode to K13

Oh K13, K13,
Show me your leg
And I'll give you an egg.

I'm getting well good at this now :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#7
ooooh_matron said:
The_Snail said:
Inspired by Durchy, I have decided to put together a few of my own quality scribblings. Please feel free to add, or critique my efforts at prose. Here's my first one:

The Upland Goose

Oh Goose, Oh Goose
Why are your bowels so loose?

I'm copyrighting them all as well, and might make a book out of them at the end of the tour, it depends whether you like them or not.

Sluggy xxx
That's not a sonnet you spastic.
I'm not claiming to be Keats, it's just the words come into my head and I feel I have to share them with you.

Oh, and we're not spastics anymore, the new term is a "Durchy". So there.
 
#8
MakaPaka said:
My first offering from my thus far 'interesting' tour..............

An Ode to MPA

IT'S SHIT HERE!!

The End

.......makes you think doesn't it?
I could have told you it's shite, it was 19 years ago, infact 19 years ago today! Where has the time gone!!!
 
#9
The Little Known Australian Falklands Connection

Bad, naughty, wicked goose!
You shat on Dale, in climes obtuse
She'll crush you with a piece of spruce
Just as sure as my name's Bruce.

The End, and shit.
 

_Chimurenga_

LE
Gallery Guru
#10
Thought I would try writing a proper sonnet -


We bid farewell to the seasoned Scouser clerk
Who leaves behind her smelly ginger hound,
She was supposed to have gone to Falkirk
But a spelling error sees her southward bound.
But somehow it just isn't the same -
The Bennies who are so unsightly
Penguins who try to make JPA claims
And sheep who have their own MOD-Nineties.
The beaches that bloom with land-mines
And the Stanley nightlife is a cruel farce
Nowhere in the hemisphere to buy pink wine
All she has left is her ARRSE.
If this poem errs and you can prove it
Then just ask one of the MODs to remove it.


Chim
 
#11
_Chimurenga_ said:
Thought I would try writing a proper sonnet -


We bid farewell to the seasoned Scouser clerk
Who leaves behind her smelly ginger hound,
She was supposed to have gone to Falkirk
But a spelling error sees her southward bound.
But somehow it just isn't the same -
The Bennies who are so unsightly
Penguins who try to make JPA claims
And sheep who have their own MOD-Nineties.
The beaches that bloom with land-mines
And the Stanley nightlife is a cruel farce
Nowhere in the hemisphere to buy pink wine
All she has left is her ARRSE.
If this poem errs and you can prove it
Then just ask one of the MODs to remove it.


Chim
I may have wanked a little. :D
 
#14
The_Highway_Man said:
I could have told you it's shite, it was 19 years ago, infact 19 years ago today! Where has the time gone!!!
You must have been 3 flights or so before me.
Did you fly down on Britannia too, sampling the delights of nasty red wine and the curvacious cabin crew? (And that was just the men :wink: )
 
#15
In the year when all sat in the first Sand-pit
I was sent to the Falklands to do my bit
Arrived in the Jan when the sun was up high
T'was with Sappers so partying was nigh
Off to the Ashes Bar for handshakes and mead
A welcome most warming I received indeed
The job was dull and worse ever to meet
But the nightlife was beer, pizza and repeat, repeat, repeat
38 Facility was my home for the tour
With holes smashed by 9 Sqn in every door
The 'Death Star' they called it and with it came dread
For any straying Crabs were often found dead
To scrap with the RIC was a weekly event
Grenadier Guards, bust lips and noses most bent
I didn't laugh then at missing the Gulf War
But I wouldn't have missed any of it for fuck all
After reading my posting order I flipped my lid
The wankers at records had made me Bennied
Five months down there instead of the four
As if I needed to drink any more
So in June of that year I finally got back
But it had a bonus as I'd at last made Lance-jack
 
#17
Boom boom boom boom
Guns guns guns guns
Mines mines mines...oh and a penguin
Sheep sheep sheep. And another sheep.
 
#19
auscam said:
Durchy, what have you done with Cuddles?
Probably nothing. He couldn't think of anything it would rhyme with.
 
#20
Muddles? Befuddles?

I have another poem about the SAW, this one is about the sea war rather than the land war...I call it Sea War.

Boom boom boom boom
Guns guns guns guns
Swoosh swoosh swoosh missiley hiss
Bugger there's another boat gone bang
Waves. Fish. Then more waves.
Hoorah for Maggie. Balls to Galtieri.
Menu A? Again? Sod it.
 

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