Song Parodies

#1
After posting some alternate lyrics in The Post of the Week thread did a search but can't find a thread just for parodies. So what about song parodies and maybe misheard lyrics?

Don McLean - Ms American Pie:

Seven Years ago.....
I can still remember how that big dick used to make me cry....
Well i knew if i had my chance,
I would jump that prison fence...
And maybe no more fifi for a while!
He watched while i took off my jeans,
Stuck it in and made me scream,
Buttblood on the doorstep,
I couldnt walk one more step
Well i sat in my cell and i cried
Why was i still Bubba's bride?
His pole touched me deep inside,
The day my ass was wide!

Bye Bye Mr. Faggoty Guy
Took a knife straight to your neck
Now your up in the sky.
Us prison boys we dont like faggoty guys
Singin my assholes feelin nice and tight!
Dont sleep on your stomach at night!

WHOA!! Did you fill my ass with come?
And did you once rape a deceased bum?
Man you are a dirty hoe!

And did you end up with a case of aids?
Dont you know that is the gay disease,
That comes from assfuckin without a condom!

Well i know that you are fuckin him.
Cuz you spot him weightlifting in the gym.
You both kick off your shoes,
Now his buttholes black and blue!

Ohhh!He was a lonely easy prison fuck!
With a pink male pussy and a cocoa puff.
All i wanted was women muff
The day my ass was wide!

And i was singin'
Die Die Mr. Faggoty Guy
Put a gun up to his head now hes up in the sky!
Us prison boys dont like Faggoty guys
Now my asshole is nice and tight!
I sleep on my stomach at night!

I knew a guard who sang the blues,
And I asked him for some happy news,
Well he just frowned and turned away
Monday id move up one floor
And id be another Bubba's whore.
I hate having gay cellmates.

The thought of his dick makes me shiver,
With each big black thrust hell deliver,
Please give me percocet,
Or my ass will be a wreck!

And the one man i admire most,
Jerry Springer Talkshow host,
Took the last plane for the coast,
The day, rumproaster died!


Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication:

"It's a simple method of pleasure now
But it's not like it's a new sensation
The hot girls in the porno movies
Give your penis a special stimulation
And if you seek this forbidden pleasure
It's Chronic Masturbation

When you have a hard day at work or school
And you need to relieve that built up frustration
Lock the door, get on the floor
And give your genitalia it's sexual obligation
It's understood when I get some wood
I go for Chronic Masturbation

It's perfectly natural and okay
It's just your hormones raging
Once it?Çÿs done growin?Çÿ, get it goin'
And satisfy the lustful craving

Screwing a knothole
Jacking-off with an egg roll
Pleasure of Chronic Masturbation
Pleasure of Chronic Masturbation

I soak my hands in baby oil
Then begin vigorous ejaculation
Watching the chic's in the porno flicks
I fantasize of an erotic situation
I lubricate it well so the skin won't peel
It's Chronic Masturbation

Some may call me a pervert or a queer
But I do it locked in my basement
I just hope that my mom can't hear the sounds
Of the scrambled Playboy station
And what to do when you don't have a tissue
It's Chronic Masturbation

Find the time to make it slime
With ambidextrous penetration
And everybody has done it
And don't let them to you it's your imagination

Screwing a knothole
Jacking-off with an egg roll
Pleasure of Chronic Masturbation
Pleasure of Chronic Masturbation

To the Faithful it may be a sin
An uncouth, spiritual violation
Who would have knew, the ultimate taboo
Would come with such a temptation
Let the cum splat and make a mess
It's Chronic Masturbation

It's perfectly natural and okay
It's just your hormones raging
It isn't corrupt
To make your volcano erupt
It's only to satisfy a lustful craving

Screwing a knothole
Jacking-off with an egg roll
Pleasure of Chronic Masturbation
Pleasure of Chronic Masturbation
 
#2
This poem is one of the most exploited and is used whether or not it is actually suitable to the topic at hand. How about an updated version:

First they came from India
And I did not speak out
Because we owed it to the Indians

Then they came from Pakistan
And I did not speak out
Because we had already let the Indians in

Then they came from Somalia
And I did not speak out
Even though I wanted to

Then they came from Poland
And I did not speak out
Because I was called a racist

Then they came from everywhere
And even though I tried to speak
Nobody listened

I’m going to share Martin Niemoller’s secret last verse with you, which he dictated to me from his deathbed:

Finally I got fed up with them coming for this that and the other all the time
And instead of all that crap about speaking out
I dangled my clackerbag in a deep-fat fryer
THEN they listened
 
#3
How about 'Fuck off, you're as funny as cot death'? It's not a song, I'm actually saying that to you, you boring civvy cunt.
 
#4
Now that reminds me of the really funny jokes i've read on here about cot death, cheers mate! :D
 
#5
W.T.F?
 
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