Song About Fat Birds

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by tripod, Feb 13, 2007.

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  1. The words to this song brought back many happy memories (or not as the case may be). Sung to Gloria Gaynors Classic "I will survive"......Enjoy.

    'I Will Survive'

    At first I was afraid,
    I was petrified,
    By the ugly slapper that was lying by my side,
    I would've drunk a little less,
    I would've tried to keep my head,
    If I'd known for just one second you'd assault me in your bed,
    I tried to go,
    walk out the door,
    But you've been sitting on my legs and I can't feel them anymore,
    And now you're sitting on my face,
    my nose has vanished - not a trace,
    I only hope that your big knickers aren't made of liquorice lace,
    I want to go,
    I've got to leave,
    Before your fat and naked body makes me bend over and heave,
    I only hope that no one saw me walking home with such a slut,
    Your dirty hairy pussy looks just like a septic cut,
    I can't believe,
    I'm lying here,
    It's all cos of that fucking evil drink that we call beer,
    You can sod your beer goggles,
    shit I must have been blind To mistake that hoover dam for a sexy young behind,
    Please let me go,
    I'm getting scared,
    There's nothing I can do to stop those breasts from being bared,

    I think that I must have been mad,
    God what made me want to court her,
    With tits that look like Tesco bags I've just filled up with water,
    It's time to go,
    run out the door,
    She's started hinting she wants sex on her dirty lino floor,
    I don't think there's anything worse then the al-co-hol-lics curse,
    But this time that's it,
    I quit,
    I can't take more of this shit!!!

    when i think about it i'm sure this song was written about me.
  2. Outstanding!
  3. You tw@t I started having flashbacks while reading that . :omfg:
  4. Classic... very good.... Let's hear a Gloria medley...

    Please start with "It's raining (se)men"
  5. Glad to know there are others that set themselves low standards and fail to achieve them
  6. No harm in a spot of extreme fat-birding is there? Please tell me there isn't, please!
  7. Listen to the Macc lads song "Sweaty Betty" you'll realise it was written about WRAC's :numberone:
  8. My policy has always been “GO FAT EARLY” guaranteed winner every time. Saying that, I’ve always been a bit of a Chubby chaser, they just seem to enjoy it more!
  9. They all need loving. Personally I like their tits so big the back of the bra strap looks like a scalextric track.