Something in your eye?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by DozyBint, Feb 13, 2006.

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  1. From Ananova:

    The mind boggles! 8O

    But it got me wondering... ARRSErs, have you done anything, erm, unusual in preparation for a big night?
  2. I had a shower once.
  4. Tidied my room. :D
  5. Well he certinally had lead in his pencil !!!! All I,ve done was splash a bit of the old Hai Karate round the old bollox. Got some under me 4skin. STING ??? I thought my helmet was melting !!!

  6. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase pencil-dick 8O 8O :lol:
  7. Maybe not the WRITE thing to do!

    Ok, I'll get me coat! :oops:
  8. Had a lad toddle in once with a towel round his old fella soaked in blood. I made the comment he shouldn't let the base commanders hound nosh him. He said nothing and unwrapped the towel. The wooden satay stick he had stuck in his japs eye when he was doing a little gland to hand combat was just visible. It had shredded under the strain and he was so away with it he didnt notice the damage he was doing till he jizzed blood. Then when it didn't stop pouring claret he panicked and sought medical assistance.

    At school there was a lad in the class had a penchant for sticking crayons up his knobend as well. He used to try and do it when the teacher was writing on the board and whip it out before she noticed. One time she sneezed, he jumped and snapped the crayon off in situ. He was too terrified to say anything and the rest of us were sitting round goggle eyed. At play lunch he zipped off for a little lad power lag and had quite an entourage with him to see it. Reports came back he was unable to dislodge the crayon. He tried again at lunch time too. By the end of the day he was sweating and squirming with a bladder the size of a basketball. His mum came to collect him end of the day and he was in tears. He didn't turn up to school again. We thought for sure he had died. Then his mother and father came by to collect his stuff. Eventually we found out through listening to teachers gossiping he ended up in local hospital with a catheter then surgery to remove the crayon. His mother was so mortified they moved.
  9. I Read the All Arms TAM Section 5-1-1 and follow info. ;) All you need before going on a night out. :D sad I know but how many of you will check?
  10. don't know about japs-eyes, but was on orderly sgt in chatham once and the lads were watching a porno where the bloke was sticking needles into his testicles. not his nut sack, his testicles themselves - like an inch or so deep. and lots of them.

    why oh why oh why......
  11. Daughter, the nurse, tells me that she once had a patient come into emerg with his dick wrapped in duct/gun tape.. Seems he got aroused and was concerned that it would deflate before it was ' ready for use' so he wrapped it to keep it erect..Seems it couldn't return to ' normal ' and was aching from the stretching.. Doctor took one look and pulled out large scissors used to cut away casts, etc.. Guy freaked and shrieked and tried to climb the wall. They ended up pulling the tape off bandage style with much yelling and hair loss leaving the little fella ' red, ruff and sore ' for quite a few days...
  12. there is a porn shop in monchengladbach near World Of Sex (any singly posterd to JHQ will know) and i seen a video box with what i can only describe as madness on the cover....

    you know those tunnels that some people get in there ear to make them look like some kind of African tribesman/woman..... well this guy had one of those stuffed down his hogs eye so that it was about 10mm wide.... then had NETTLES stuffed down there!!!

    why and where do these people get the urge to do such things
  13. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Believe the "technical" term for metal objects that folk stick up their urethra is " urethra sounds".

    Google it if you fancy a lugh, not sure how many of those sites it gives are work safe though!
  14. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    And never, ever put "urethra sounds" into Google Images!
  15. Yet another candidate for population culling. Or should that just be pity? It still hurts over here.