Something for the Cabin Crew

Another in these 'How to get an upgrade' articles, usually rubbish and this week's one was no exception;
<<
Flight attendant Helena Afroughi explained: "What always works is when people bring some sweets to the crew, chocolates or whatever. And they make themselves known. Don't just give it and run away.
>>
The practice it not new, was discussed a while back on a frequent Flyer Forum and there are actually people who do this, giving boxes of chocolates or gifts to the cabin crew- 'to show appreciation'
Not something I've even considered doing and I'm not going to start now, to me it's creepy and, however much the giver denies it, there's usually an expectation to something, like better service.

No one ever seems to produce the gift when they are leaving the plane.
"They are always so grateful" Of course they are, no cabin crew member is going to say "keep your sodding chocolates." however much they may be thinking it.
I guess if it's something you do, then you will defend the practice

Link is from the Express but the article has been widely syndicated.

How to get upgraded

If pleasing these professionals doing their job is so important, why not have a whip-round among the passengers ? - always worked for Fred the charabanc driver in the old days.
 

MrBane

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Reviews Editor
I always found the best way to get better service / better seat / free trips was just to bang a stewardess for a decent airline.

Aaah Sarah... Such fun times. Though I think even she was surprised at the damage a squaddie, unfamiliar with the etiquette of the Club lounge, could do in the space of an hour.

ETA: This was fourteen years ago. Do you think time enough has passed to post her pic in my dessie gear? Hmm..
 
Hand a note to the CC on headed notepaper FAO the chaps up-front that as a highly-trained Air Traffic Control Assistant you'd be more than happy to offer your assistance in the event of an emergency.
 
ETA: This was fourteen years ago. Do you think time enough has passed to post her pic in my dessie gear? Hmm..
If it will help readers inderstand how best to go about getting upgraded then it would seem unfair to deny us this knowledge.
 
Another in these 'How to get an upgrade' articles, usually rubbish and this week's one was no exception;
<<
Flight attendant Helena Afroughi explained: "What always works is when people bring some sweets to the crew, chocolates or whatever. And they make themselves known. Don't just give it and run away.
>>
The practice it not new, was discussed a while back on a frequent Flyer Forum and there are actually people who do this, giving boxes of chocolates or gifts to the cabin crew- 'to show appreciation'
Not something I've even considered doing and I'm not going to start now, to me it's creepy and, however much the giver denies it, there's usually an expectation to something, like better service.

No one ever seems to produce the gift when they are leaving the plane.
"They are always so grateful" Of course they are, no cabin crew member is going to say "keep your sodding chocolates." however much they may be thinking it.
I guess if it's something you do, then you will defend the practice

Link is from the Express but the article has been widely syndicated.

How to get upgraded

If pleasing these professionals doing their job is so important, why not have a whip-round among the passengers ? - always worked for Fred the charabanc driver in the old days.

Ahhhhh! I see now. I was wondering why “I’ve got a bomb, upgrade me” wasn’t working.

I’ll need to change my approach “I’ve got a bomb and some sweeties, upgrade me” sounds much better.

Thanks.
 
Still remember reading a (probably apocryphal) tale years ago, concerning an exchange in 1st Class between a vertically-challenged British comedian and a female cabin crew member:

Comedian: "Hello my darling; what would you say to a little f*ck?"

Stewardess: "Hello, you little f*ck."
 
Still remember reading a (probably apocryphal) tale years ago, concerning an exchange in 1st Class between a vertically-challenged British comedian and a female cabin crew member:

Comedian: "Hello my darling; what would you say to a little f*ck?"

Stewardess: "Hello, you little f*ck."

1635326928480.jpeg
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
I always found the best way to get better service / better seat / free trips was just to bang a stewardess for a decent airline.

Aaah Sarah... Such fun times. Though I think even she was surprised at the damage a squaddie, unfamiliar with the etiquette of the Club lounge, could do in the space of an hour.

ETA: This was fourteen years ago. Do you think time enough has passed to post her pic in my dessie gear? Hmm..
That never worked for me when I got a flight to the Dominican Republic, mind I was flying BA and the stewie I was banging worked for Easyjet!
 
I don’t fly anymore. A very uncomfortable experience for wheelchair users. Airlines could and should do better.
 
Though I think even she was surprised at the damage a squaddie, unfamiliar with the etiquette of the Club lounge

Did you try and make the place open plan? Fit some shelves? Install a wet room?
 
I heard tale of a chap who was gifted his one and only upgrade to first class.

He was kicking the arse out of enjoying the better scoff and free bar, when there appeared to be a bit of a commotion towards the council end of the plane.

It transpired that someone had croaked, and everyone surrounding the corpse was moved up to first class, with the immediate cessation of freebies.

He had a proper whinge to his new next seat passenger about how unfair it was that his only upgrade was kyboshed by some selfish fcuker dying on them.

It was then, through tears and blubbing, that the woman told him about her poor husband who'd just died on their way back from their anniversary holiday.

Tumbleweed moment just doesn't quite capture it...
 

goodoldboy

MIA
Book Reviewer
It's not the hosties you should be grovelling to, it's the check-in desk staff. Chocolates? Ha ha ha - they're very likely to throw them at you! Sometimes though you can buy an upgrade at less than the normal difference between classes but you have to ask at check-in.

A very spew-worthy event was an American couple in front of me in the BA Business Class queue at Heathrow for the Washington flight. When it was their turn the woman of the couple did the talking which was along the lines of "Elmer and I have so enjoyed being in Britain we decided to bring you a little gift". She handed over a box of fudge and asked for an upgrade from Economy to Business. On being told there were no upgrades available and she was in the wrong queue, she snatched back the fudge and stomped off with Elmer plodding along behind!

Occasionally the cabin staff will move a solo passenger on a long haul flight. In Economy Class (long haul) an easy way to get an upgrade is after the first meal when you wander along to the galley pretending to be stretching your legs. Get chatting to the staff and casually ask if there's any space in Business or Premium Economy. It's worked a couple of times for me. The staff members are really busy for the first couple of hours and haven't got time to sort out upgrades, just leave it for a while and then ask. Chocolates and sweeties won't do it as they've got a larder full of them already! Try it and see. Even if you do just spend a couple of hours in Economy, the next six to ten hours upgrade is well worth it!

As for a shag with a cabin crew member, I would venture that it's folklore and, in any event, the pleasure would be in the coupling alone and wouldn't get you an upgrade...

Happy travelling!
 
I know for a fact that the "give 'em chocolates" myth is an invention of clickbaiters.
I happen to really like those red-wrapped little tablets of chocolate that SWISS airlines cabin crew bring around in little baskets, so each time a stewardess offers the basket to me I take four and promptly present two to her.
I've never got an upgrade nor even a shag (which, after all, wouldn't actually cost her anything), so I know it's all boll*cks.
 
I find the best way of getting an upgrade is to pay for business class, but then I'm not a pauper.

I doubt anyone gets an upgrade over a box of chocolates.
 

Latest Threads

Top