Someone at The Guardian has a sense of humour

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Mr_Fingerz, Apr 21, 2009.

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  1. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    Iranian sniper or Wookiee? How to tell them apartTim Dowling
    The Guardian, Tuesday 21 April 2009
    Article history

    Iranian snipers in full camouflage take part in the Army Day parade in Tehran on 18 March 2009. Photograph: Behrouz Mehri/AFP/Getty Images

    Over the weekend Iranian snipers marched in the annual Army Day parade in Tehran in full camouflage, looking less like crack combatants and more like Wookiee extras from a forgotten Star Wars spin-off. So how do you tell the difference?

    Iranian army sniper
    When and where: now, Iran.

    Planet of origin: Earth.

    Language: Persian, officially.

    Average height: approximately 5ft 8in, without haystack suit.

    Weapon of choice: the sniper rifle, presumably, although pictured holding the rather less precise AK-47 assault rifle for some reason.

    Strategic advantages: concealment. Would be virtually invisible, for example, at a Star Wars convention, or in a vat of angel hair pasta.

    Also sometimes confused with: Cruella De Vil after dry cleaning mishap; a compost heap.

    Wookiee
    When and where: a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

    Planet of origin: Kashyyyk.

    Language: Shyriiwook, a system of barks, groans and gargling.

    Average height: 6ft 11in (the actor who played Chewbacca, Peter Mayhew, stood at 7ft 3in).

    Weapon of choice: the bowcaster, a crossbow firing magnetically accelerated projectiles, according to online resource Wookieepedia.

    Strategic advantages: strong, readily lends itself to merchandising.

    Also sometimes confused with: the cowardly lion from The Wizard of Oz; Brian Blessed.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/apr/21/iranian-sniper-wookiee-star-wars
     
  2. I'm sure their mothers could tell them apart.
     
  3. The writer probably found it funny but their readers wont. I predict cries of racism towards Wookies, a fully fledged campaign to give wookie's equal rights and how the author is obviously some sort of extreme Nazi.
     
  4. Looks more like some OTCs.
     
  5. I predict some rather strangulated sounds if anybody does make racist remarks about Wookies - they don't even like it when they lose at chess.

    More worrying is their flagrant development of particle accelerators as weapons - sounds like an opportunity for the Septics to invade somewhere else.

    Still, on the bright side it looks like there are some employment opportunities for Sergeant Majors in Iran - "You Laddie, get your ruddy 'air cut!!!"
     
  6. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    On behalf of the Wookie Republic, as their representative on Earth, may I express our disgust and dismay at this comparison. There are no similarities between the Iranian Worzel Gummidge Watchers Club and our people. The remarks were indeed racist, and even planetariest, and we will be taking action under the European Lottery System, the Court of Human Rights. And should anyone say that we are not human, therefore not allowed to use this court, refer the honourable members to some of the other litigants there, and ask that you declare that they were human!
     
  7. I must admit, i thought it was a pic of my section on Sennybridge :lol:
     
  8. piccie
     

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  9. Oh, they're Iranian snipers are they? I thought they were just Rock Apes in need of a trim.
     
  10. By fu ck their camouflage must have been good cos we never saw them.