Some assistance please, Gentlemen..

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by LBdr_Pigshagger, Jul 29, 2010.

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  1. Any Training Screws on here?

    Could any of you help me with an up to date 'dummy timetable' of the 14 week syllabus for CMSR, for a girl?

    I promise it won't be published anywhere, it's for a peice of fiction that I'm writing that will enable me to build a bit of background around a lead character - Her recruit training is going to be a big part of it. (Mainly chuntering about PT, and being punched by training screws in the face for falling asleep during first aid lessons)

    If one of you gentlemen come through with the goods, I'll write you in and let your character hang out the back of her while she drops her kebab and chips on your desert boots during her first weekend of leave.

    I'm also after a bit of background and a the answer to a question.

    If said fictional 17 1/2 year old girl joined the QARANC as an OR, how long after CMSR can I get her on Op Herrick, out of Bastion and seriously injured or killed? Would she for example, be sent out on a helicopter or vehicle at any point to assist with a Casevac? Could she be posted to an FOB in Helmand, or would she be esclusively stationed at Bastion?

    I don't want to go into too much detail on here, but PM me if you can help in any way and I'll make contact and flesh it out a bit more for you.

    Alternatively, you can e-mail me at

    Thanks in advance.
  2. Grey Mafia is the bird you need.

    Oh, and can I speiel chuck your buk?
  3. It depends, what does the girl look like? Seems a reasonable swap.
  4. When has that (looks, sex, or species) ever made any difference to you?
  5. Cutesy but streetwise. A bit chavvy, but attractive.

    I'm thinking along the lines of a Lacey Turner or a Michelle Keegan, here....
  6. Eww dark hair? You need a blonde.

    Call me, or get me on FB. I want halvers if I write most of it.
  7. Thanks, but it's pretty much written.

    It's the background stuff and sanity checks the on "could this actually happen" part of the narrative that I need to back it up with. It's 20 years since I did CMSR at Woolwich, so I want to see how much things have changed.

    If I find out that QARANC OR's don't get out of Bastion, I'm going to have to have a re-think and get her into the RLC or maybe even the RA.

    Even with nine years service, I didn't have a lot to do with the QA's. All I knew about them was that they were a bit unreliable.

    Busloads of them were supposed to arrive at NAAFI Discos all over the UK and Northern Ireland, but they never, ever showed up.

    I'll give the FB thing a miss. You sound like you're trying to groom me....
  8. Grey Mafia, Dolly or Shrew.

    Oh, and you are already on my FB, toilethead xxxx
  9. De-lurking from RP to say, I can't help with anything technical or forces-related, but if you get more bored than a bored-thing with typing it yourself I am more than happy to do some of the typing for you (I am about 180wpm). Happy to type from manuscript or audio for absolutely no fee whatsoever, you can just be extra generous when you buy your Poppy this year.

  10. Ah thanks, but I actually rather enjoy writing it.

    A very kind offer, though.
  11. Thanks for that. Slugster xxx
  12. "being punched by training screws in the face for falling asleep during first aid lessons"

    A good idea PS fiction or not there are more people than not who would believe your story was the solid truth. That said as a Trg Instr the part of Punching people in the face at Phase 1 has no place at all, it is not accepted in our Bn, nor on Pre-deployment Trg. So happy to PM you with the current sylbus accroding to ARTD but not happy with discrediting the Trg Screws for an increase in your sales!

    If ya still intrested let me know and I will see what I can do with the information

  13. Fcuk you Jarhead! Oh, look, it appears you were right all along.

    I think L/Bdr Pigshagger needs to concentrate less on the military paraphernalia and focus a bit more on the descriptions of the **** penetration of this QA by an evil Gunner Major reduced in rank for his perverted liaisons whilst on operations. She should be neither blonde nor brunette but ginger and a shapely size 16, with chest upholstery that could contain even cuddles' emissions. Erm...I mean the evil twisted Major's man fat.

    Later in the book she could crawl over broken glass to ring-dhobi him, this would be quite realistic, although if she were an PMRAFNS Cpl nurse that would be more accurate...while outside occasional desultory shouts of "Get in sir! That's the stuff!" drifted up from a NSE squadron smoker.
  14. Spider,

    Cheers. Much appreciated. OK, I promise nobody will be punched in the face.

    If you're a serving training screw, I'd love to have a chat with you. I've PM'd you some contact details.

  15. I knew you would appreciate that Cuddles.