Soldiers Party Tricks and Idiosyncrasies

#1
Used to be a chap at 39 Hy Regt in the late 80s' whose party piece was to squeeze himself into a 'Thomas' Bin. Lad was about 5'5, and fairly skinny, but even so it was incredible to watch him fit himself into said bin, and something I haven't seen repeated since.

Leaving aside (well at least for the time being) the nastier party pieces involving drink, vomit and other assorted liquids/semi-liquids, what other strange party pieces have been witnessed over the years?
 
#2
pombsen-armchair-warrior said:
Used to be a chap at 39 Hy Regt in the late 80s' whose party piece was to squeeze himself into a 'Thomas' Bin. Lad was about 5'5, and fairly skinny, but even so it was incredible to watch him fit himself into said bin, and something I haven't seen repeated since.

Leaving aside (well at least for the time being) the nastier party pieces involving drink, vomit and other assorted liquids/semi-liquids, what other strange party pieces have been witnessed over the years?

One of the blokes at 39 LAD used to eat cockroaches,live.

Another used to wake up with Blackfoot Sue in his bed,now that was a party piece.
 
#5
Fairly tame I know but I didn't realise I could do it till I was wazzed without taunting and tried it.
I snorted a condom till the tip popped out at the back of my throat and 4X 2'd my throat/nasal passage with it!
Not a touch on 'Jakes' many coinage into foreskin insertion display at Chilwell.
Cheers all!
 
#6
Used to know a lad who had a false testicle - a placker-knacker. His party trick down the mess was to whip it out on the table and twat it with a flip-flop.
 
#7
supermatelot said:
Used to know a lad who had a false testicle - a placker-knacker. His party trick down the mess was to whip it out on the table and t**t it with a flip-flop.
Which mess? I have read that story before somewhere and am wondering whether you wrote the book.

Are you General Sir Peter De La Billiere? I could have sworn I read it in his book. The chap with the fake nut was a visiting American.

Maybe I'm wrong, could have been another book. I'll look it up and give you author, book title, edition and page number if you don't own up! :twisted:

Your pants are on fire, aren't they?

Honestly though, admit it. I'll be like a dug with a bone otherwise until.
 
#8
supermatelot said:
Used to know a lad who had a false testicle - a placker-knacker. His party trick down the mess was to whip it out on the table and t**t it with a flip-flop.
Which mess? I have read that story before somewhere.

Are you ex-SAS member Pete Scholey?! Yes, that's it. Pete Scholey wrote of that story in "The Joker". I have the 2002 paperback. Do you want the page number or do you want to recognise you've been outed Walting?

Defo a Pete Scholey tale that one.
 
#10
jinxy said:
I have heard of dag and dog. What the feck is a dug? Is that some t**t with a spade in his head?
A dug goes woof woof on Scottish cooncil estates.

Guess I should refer back to the Queen's own seeing as the other home countries can't be ersed translating.

Sorry ma'am. (ma'am rhymes with ha'am).
 
#11
Obviously i'm just spinning a fleet dit as anyone else in the mob with a silicone nad would never dream of doing the same.
 
#12
Doug_Hole said:
supermatelot said:
Used to know a lad who had a false testicle - a placker-knacker. His party trick down the mess was to whip it out on the table and t**t it with a flip-flop.
Which mess? I have read that story before somewhere.

Are you ex-SAS member Pete Scholey?! Yes, that's it. Pete Scholey wrote of that story in "The Joker". I have the 2002 paperback. Do you want the page number or do you want to recognise you've been outed Walting?

Defo a Pete Scholey tale that one.
That tales been going around for years, perhaps Pete Scholey incorporated it into his book. Usual story was group of paras and booties on the lash trying to black cat each other, one then gets his gonads out and hits the plastic one with a beer glass. Paras/Marines (depending who's telling the story) go ashen faced and concede defeat.

We did have one lad (called womble funnily enough) with a plastic gonad, wasn't him in the story though unfortunately.
 
#13
Are you ex-SAS member Pete Scholey?! Yes, that's it. Pete Scholey wrote of that story in "The Joker". I have the 2002 paperback. Do you want the page number or do you want to recognise you've been outed Walting?
Bit of a THROBBER really Doug are'nt you? I think you are trying just that little bit too hard to blend in here and are over-compensating.
Nevermind, carry on..

Blobby, at the end of the day anybody with a plastic nad who had heard whatever the original dit was would be inspired by it.
 
#15
At Kinloss,I knew a Cpl,a wee sadistic Glasweigan,who used to drink a pint of piss with a pickled egg top!Had to get him $hitfaced first!
(Mind you,he ended up in Colly after glassing his wife in the NAAFI who was shagging around while we were in the USA on Det)
 
#16
supermatelot said:
Bit of a THROBBER really Doug are'nt you? I think you are trying just that little bit too hard to blend in here and are over-compensating.
How true. I've already given myself away as not knowing someone with a fake bollock. Bollock amputees are the most common in the army, ten a penny. Every mess has three. Oh well.

I could just start copying funny stories from my collection of SAS biographies and claiming I saw them happen with my own eyes down "my mess". Damn! You've got that base covered. Oh well.
 
#17
I dont read SAS biographies. I'm not in the army either. Are you or have you ever or do you just have a robust and well rounded knowledge of "warry" books?
 
#18
In the days of no portaloo's, but 45 gal drum with half plank seats, I used to drop a thunderflash in them at the end of excercises...funny as fcuk watching sh1te explode SSM Geoffry Fr!"£$er remember Kevil..LOL

Not a party trick
 
#19
I went through a phase when I was a bit younger of setting my pubes alight and running aroung the bar. There is no smell like burnt pubes.
 
#20
Once met a chap whose party peice was to stretch his foreskin over the top of a pint glass.

I always wanted to know:

a. How he found out he could do it.

b. Why he wanted to find out.
 

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