Soldiering feux pas

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Killer_Bees, Sep 4, 2009.

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  1. It was January and raining and cold and we were on a platoon attack weekend, our section was on night patrol alert and ready to use all of our newly learned skills and drills when I set off through a trip flare and initite us getting ambushed.
    So in the seconds that we engage disengage I got the trip-flare cord tangled around my leg and as we try to fukc off out of there the section is illuminated everywhere we go.


    Fancied starting a thread, please share
  2. Funny that - I had a complete retard in my section for a while too - maybe he was your brother!
  3. Was it cold that night?----------- you wern't in Belfast by anychance not being shot at?
  4. you made a faux pas with the title of the thread too
  5. joey_deacons_lad:
    Bit pi55ed.... mong

    No sunnybridge training area

    Suck my plums
  6. My cousin told me a funny story of how he and his mucca got sent out to set up a trip flare on ex. Between the two of them they went out there and set it up. Sadly they did this in the dark and The Emporer Mong was in full flow. What happened next in my opinion is Fcuk-wit genius.

    Several hours later and their mate was on stag when he heard twigs breaking and could make out someone approaching. He pulled on the comms cord and got the gun into the shoulder. "As soon as that trip flare goes off I'm letting rip a whole belt" he thinks to himself.

    Step - Step - Step - THUD!!!

    The enemy realising what their front man has just tripped over do one and manage to make good their escape. A few shots are fired but the scene wasn't what the DS had hoped for. In the morning they went to investigate.

    It transpires that the trip flare was lying still in its un set up state near its packaging. Laddo had tied one end of the trip wire to a tree and passed the reel to my cousin saying "Box it off on your side." Cousin has then proceeded to assume that the trip flare was being set up on the other side and simply tied his end to another tree.

    Mongs, doesn't quite cut it!
  7. PSBC 1975 Sennybridge Paddy AN Other (forgotten his surname) is giving his orders for a Recce Ptl

    Actions on: Actions on Trip Flare "Bomb Burst but "Stick Together" ?
  8. "feux pas"?? is that because we're talking fire/explosions here?

    very punny...
  9. Dozy French twot
  10. It always made me smile when receiving Actions On:

    Actions On Being Lost: make your way back to the last location, we'll come and get you.

    If I fecking knew where the last fecking location was, I wouldnt be fecking lost.
  11. chrisg46

    chrisg46 LE Book Reviewer

    Early in my career, i was the lsw gunner in an ambush, and was placed next to the pc to initate it. Comms cord was run in from the cut offs, but unfortunatley was not long enough. Therefore one side was tied to my thumb so i could pass on when the opfor was approaching.
    Now, we had been tabbing all day and were now lying comfortably for some hours, and shamefully, the inevitable happened, although i would only drop off for a few moments. Nevertheless, i was surprised and confused when all of a sudden my arm started jerking like a spastic!! What the hell? Next thing the pc is thumping the back of my helmet repeatedly until i turn my head and whisper "I'm awake!!" The pc looks back and snarls "Look front, cnut!" as the enemy are strolling past...

    Another time, we are doing a live fire night ambush. The order for the triggering of the ambush was to be trip flares that the nco's would set out to our front.
    So we lie down in position, and the nco's go to do their thing. After a few minutes, suddenly the night was sundered by a single flare. at this, a lot of the platoon made ready, assuming an order had not been passed down. An officer heard this, and realised what might be about to happen. However, he did not really think about his next words, as he shouted "cease FIRE!"
    Unfortunately hardly anyone heard the first half of the order, neither did the gpmg sf teams off to the flanks....
  12. this is a bit of a random thread. something bad has happened to everyone in their soldiering career. i don't think there's a thread for every one. are you OTC?

    anyway, as for trip flares, does bring back a good memory of a Bn exercise long ago.

    At far left flank is a new Sec. Cdr who hasn't had much sleep. In one hand he's holding the comms cord to notify P.C of approaching enemy. In the other is the cord for the far left trip flare in the killing zone. Falls asleep, wakes up to soldier next to him nudging at the fact the first enemy soldier is patrolling in front of us. So, S.C pulls the.. oh-sh*t-wrong-one.

    So first trip is up, everybody else in the ambush area with trip wires assumes the ambush is on and pulls on them, lights up the road like Tokyo high street showing that there is clearly nobody on it, but as usual everybody starts blatting at light speed as per. The enemy duck down into a ditch whilst entire ambush party empty magazines... laughing to themselves. Upon the firing stopping, the enemy attack an unarmed ambush party with all they got. Doesn't fair well to the ambush party at all.

    Bad for the FF but amusing all the same sat on the radio net, listening to squeals of 'nobody told me that was going to happen' and the naturally shizzling himself S.C who really monged it struggle to get his words out on the radio and hand the set BACK to the section signaller. hoorah for i-know-better-than-the-signaller S.C's.
  13. Ah, trip flares. I know a bloke in the same line of work as me who drunkenly confessed to to torching a large part of Cyprus with a trip flare, back in the 90s.

    Apparently, he revisited the site of a previous harbor area to find blackened olive trees exploding with sap as a result of a bug-out during the driest summer on record.

    Cue booking him on the karaoke for 'Firestarter'.
  14. Two Sandhurst ambush classics:

    1. PltC 'ties' both comms cords to each wrist....nice and tight etc. Enemy approaching and is spotted by both (?) cut offs who proceed to pull so hard on the cord that PC is splayed out on the ground unable to reach rifle or move.

    2. Member of ambush nods off, wakes with a start and lets off a round, whole ambush then lets rip. As it all dies down DS spend a good twenty minutes trying to find out who fired first. Guilty party utters not a peep (and no it was not me!)
  15. I've never understood the reason to "comms cord" each cut-off group.....and I never did (perhaps poor drills)

    The cut offs would know when to react as the main fire would be put down, and they'd react accordingly.