Unfortunately while knocking one out whilst laid in bed watching the finest monkey porn available I felt quite a bit of gas wanting to leave, and again unfortunately I've had a bit of a dodgy stomach all evening. No worries I'll carry on knocking out and just let the fart come, bad idea. A little bit more than gas came out and I'm now the proud owner of a blue/shit stained bedsheet and mattress protector (thank fcuk the mattress is OK). Now any sensible person would throw the offending items away. However, I'm considering putting them proudly on display on the washing line for the neighbours to see. Can anybody advance me better ideas for a soiled sheet? I'm sure we can come up with better than a washing line. Note to self Halloween is coming up.