Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by chimera, Feb 16, 2006.

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  1. chimera

    chimera LE Moderator

    Am I alone in noticing that when ever two people are sitting on a 3 person seat on a crowded bus or train that the third person who wants to cram themselves into the space is always:

    a. Hugely Obese

    b. Wheezing

    c. Smelly

    d. Completley obliviously to the discomfort they cause to all around them.

    Maybe as well as banning smoking in public places the Government should ban FAT PEOPLE.
  2. e. all of the above and Mad as cheese.
  3. f. Insists on reading a broadsheet newspaper fully unfolded, whilst listening to some irritating noise on (not so)personal headphones, leaving you with the incredibly annoying 'Tch-tch-tch' noise for the whole journey. Absolutely inconsiderate to$$ers!

    Damn, I hate the London Underground! :evil:
  4. Even worse are the ones who stand on the platform directly in front of the doors and can see a horde ready to dismount from the train and just stand there or force their way on.
  5. Percy_Pigeon

    Percy_Pigeon War Hero Book Reviewer

    As a fat bloke that uses Public Transport I find it incredibly funny to squeeze in next to you thin blokes.

    I don’t notice the smell, it gets trapped in the folds, you see.
  6. It can be worse, much worse - imagine sitting down on a long-haul flight, getting yourself comfortable only to be confronted by said fat barsteward sitting down next to you :evil:

    Said fat barsteward then proceeds to take up half of your space & promptly falls asleep and in the process blocks all access to the bog, snores like a cnut and generally makes your entire 12hr+ flight downright fcuking miserable :!:

    It should be mandatory for fat fcukers on planes to pay more :!:

  7. Tch Tch. A bit stoutist I fear. Careful or the fatties will come and sit on you.....
  8. Nope - they should fly as cargo!
  9. Am i the only one to notice that all large women have got an arse like two saxon sidebins and nipples like scania wheel nuts. :?: :?:
  10. Don't blame the fat people, they're not allowed to smoke themselves thin anymore :)

    Agreed, those seriously overweight should be made to pay for the extra seats they take up, or cause abandonment of through their habits. When limited to a tiny amount of luggage (20kg max?), why are fat people allowed on the plane to burn extra fuel? I suggest anyone with a BMI over 30, or who is basically just an obviously fat cnut pays double and gets to be poked with a stick :)
  11. If they're paying for two seats, do they get two sets of in-flight meals?

    Are we not compounding the problem?
  12. People the world over never seem to grasp that basic principle;

    Let the people off before you get on, otherwise it becomes complicated.

    On average, I've found portly folk to be rather lazy. We had a new joiner in the office the other week, a junior manager, she was looking through some boxes for a file, and asked if I knew where it was, I said no but I'd help her look.

    As I began looking, she uttered "I can't be bothered to keep looking now, and do you mind looking a bit faster, as I'm a bit busy.."

    To make matters worse, she's fat & sweaty sock.
  13. Maybe they should invent something like those 'dimensions 'baskets that your hand luggage has to fit in before you can take it on board.

    A sentry box or wardrobe that you have to be able to fit into before you can travel. ?
  14. better still, a medieval Iron Maiden with the spikes replaced with Lipo suction probes..lock the fat cnuts in it for and hour before take off.
  15. Or narrow the width of the metal detector arch, if they can't squeeze through that they don't get on.

    Mind you I better lay off the crisps and beer for a bit, starting to get a bit flabby myself ( but I can still fit in one seat!)