Social Workers - Urgent Help & Advice Needed Please

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by foxs_marine, Sep 12, 2007.

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  1. I urgently need some practical advice. In June this year, my ex partner took our daughter to a meeting with the NHS in Kent to try & get help with her behavioural issues (it's believed she may have Asperger's Syndrome).

    My ex rang me in tears to say that she had been accused of neglect by letting our daughter come to a violent, alcoholic father at weekends & that we were to be reported to Social Services.

    A social worker duly got in touch & said she understood our dauhter had been smacked etc. We resolved this we thought & heard no more.

    Yesterday my ex rang in hysterics as they've been on again & now want to come to her house to do an assessment. She told the social worker this infringed her right to privacy & that she would bring our daughter to their office, but that this couldn't be until Late October as she's going into hospital. Apparently the social worker laughed at her & said if she couldn't come to the house, she was now suspicious there was something to hide & she'd consult her superiors.

    I rang the social worker & she said there'd been a report from a mental health worker who'd been to the house & had concerns about it. I've been told about her report &, made on the basis of a 30 minute visit, it contains about 10 factual errors. My ex has complained to ICAS about it & it is flawed as a document.

    She is now hysterical & insists that the visit Social Services plan this coming Friday will be to snatch our child, search her home etc & hat our daughter will be forcibly adopted & we will be imprisoned. She says she will not "collaborate" with them to remove our child.

    I hold no brief for social workers, but I fear that this will only make them see things that aen't there. The trouble is, you read such horror stories about secret courts etc that I don't know what to believe.

    So, my questions are; what powers do such people have & can any Arrsers offer any practical advice. I really don't know what to do for best.


  2. Where did they get the info that your daughter was allowed to see a "violent and alcoholic father" at weekends?

    And if this is the case then why do they want to see your ex's house and not yours?

    You sure your ex is telling you the whole story here?
  3. Get a family solicitor involved NOW..
  4. That is what she told me they said, I'm not sure how they "knew". I remember the first health visitor to come after we moved to Kent was surprised to see me as "the file says you're in prison".

    The mental health team's report is also flawed as a document & useless as evidence in any real sense. My fear is based on the unknown & the stories the Mail revels in. What can these people do & how quickly can they do it & how can we defend ourselves?

    D_S, nice one, my ex has already contacted a solicitor.
  5. As above, I do think that there is a little bit more than stated in this instance. Categorically, you need FAMILY SOLICITOR, ie one specialising in family law. Citizens advice people will supply details or enquire locally with solicitor's offices. It is not right for me to say anything else because I am not in possesion of full facts.

    By the same token, do not impede their enquiries Field social workers are NOT fools, despite what the papers say. Mistakes can be made though.

    Say again, get that solicitor. :!:
  6. If Moodybitch is thinking what I'm thinking, you may want your own solicitor too.
  7. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Repeat Darin Sniffer's point. Get legal representation right now.

    Sound svery much like your ex-partner has told social services that you are a violent drunk because (sorry to say this) she's a stpuid b!tch, and is now regretting the fact that she has set in motion a social services train of family destruction.

    I'm afraid to say that not only will Social Services do their utmost to remove your children from the mother (to meet adoption targets in their area), but YOU are also on trial.

    You better work hard and fast, and spend some time talking to your children in an honest and frank manner as to how they feel about you and spending time with you. At the end of the day, what THEY say to the family gestapo will make ALL the difference as to whether your kids wind up being adopted.

    Also, tell your Ex to keep her mouth shut to avoid any more damage being done.
  8. Agree with Drain Sniffer, Social Workers either ignore kids who really are at risk or persecute good parents.

    Get a brief asap.
  9. The only files a health visitor will have are notes from the pregnancy files.....a pregnant woman is asked about their partners occupation and other details.

    In my mind, if thenotes say you were in prison it must have come from your ex, as at the time they are hand written in front of you.

    You should have a serious think as to what exactly your ex told the NHS to result in yet another "error" as it is very unlikely they would have just madeit up!

    It would also explain why your ex is so hysterical...surely if she hasnt said anything and it was just an admin error, she'd have nothing to worry about?

    I dont think you'vebeen told the whole story mate.
  10. I am
  11. Social workers routinely overstate their powers and, actually, are not particularly competent. As others have said, consult a solicitor now - you're in Kent, I see, so you could try:

    Andrew McCooey & Co
    London Road
    ME10 1NQ
    Tel: 01795 4706863
    Fax: 01795 424497

    As I recall they've done some pretty good work in the past involving forces people and seem to be pretty robust. But I'm certain there are others.

    I suppose also that one might counter-attack by accusing the social worker of harrassment and/or bullying in a letter to the appropriate authority. If nothing else it might move the case up the feeding chain and buy some time.
  13. Oops, not sure what I've just done?

    I was trying to quote Moody & put my reply in the middle of her quote. Sorry.

    My reply runs from "I don't think... to easily"

  14. Moody and Dilfor seem pretty well on the nail - unless you are a violent drunk with a record for more than unpaid speeding fines?

    Assuming you're not, then there's something you need to consider because, if youu convince them that you're "safe" but they want to make a case of it, it's something they'll consider.

    The reports of your behaviour etc can only really have come from your ex - the same ex who's turning "hysterically" to you now the shit's hit the fan. So, at very least, she's someone who's happy to play both sides against the middle for her own motives. At worst, she could be a completely unstable psychopathic biatch who shouldn't be allowed to take kids on forein holidays. I'm in no position to judge tht, but you are and you need to do so as impartially as you can.

    Try to put aside all the "accepted" stuff about children needing their mothers etc - imagine her as a childminder rather than mother - and answer these (written answers not compulsory :) ):

    Is your ex a suitable carer for a child with behavioural problems? Do her own needs of the moment come first, or will she consistently put the child's needs ahead of them (not just physical needs, emotional ones)? Could your child's problems not be a "syndrome" at all, but an effect of genuine bad parenting by your ex and instability or inconsistency in how her mum treats her?

    Whatever answers you come up with, if the SS talk to you at any point it will only help if you've already considered the issues they may have concerns about rather than sitting there gulping like a goldfish when you realise what they're asking ;)