Soap opera minge

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by haggler, Nov 9, 2011.

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  1. Forced to watch emmerdale and corrie i find myself lusting after the flange before me.

    Moira in emmerdale ...yum yum and the squaddies mum the builder is knocking off makes me stiffer than jimmy saville laying in state. I post this after three strong orangeboom black cans and half a bottle of shiraz. I am saving the scratchings for best.

    Am i alone in this? Ps i also search for newsreader upskirts. Am i beyond redemption ?
  2. Scratchings, you say? The snack with hair growing out of it? You are indeed doomed.

    • Like Like x 1
  3. Embrace the fur. Say nay to pork crunch for it promises much but delivers nowt. I have seen gails hangers and spilt a little sex wee. Hell i even stiffened to audrey and her tranie manny. Excuse my awful grandma but the blood has left my typing finger thinking about betty's hotpot
  4. Lies.

    Nobody is 'forcing' you to watch these programs of which you speak. You're certainly not lusting after the crumpet, because you are a screaming bender. You stroke your neck with the scratchings, imagining that it's the beard of the leather-clad, 20-stone bear* who is about to hurl you to the floor and ram his length up you as you whimper insincere pleas into the Axminster.

    Go on, deny it. I challenge you.

    * one of these, or perhaps several, it's really none of my business. You freak.

  5. I was aroused until i espied a hint of pampers on the fella on the right. Nappies? A step beyond even for me.

    If however you have any polaroids of said nappy crapper doing the business post them to detmold
  6. Right, I know fuck all about Brit TV, so on the say-so I searched it on the webby thingy, this is what I came up with for Emmerdale:


    Corrie: corrie2.jpg

    "You've got a bit of explaining to do my lad".
  7. Eurgh, those boutonnieres! They're all wrong, they should be tucked through the buttonhole and pinned to the BACK of the lapel! It looks like the flowers are wearing them, not the other way around! It's ghastly, I can't...wrong...ooh, Mother...*has the vapours*
  8. Play rugby?

    Recent freak accident in a gym leading to a stroke?

    I think you're on the wrong thread sweetie...............
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  9. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    Google harder

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    • Like Like x 1
  10. Morning suits for weddings


    Do pay attention to GQ MtC, I mean really, you do have frightful manners.
  11. Pffft, some moisten bints. No my lad, I prefer my contribution.
  12. Just misread that and sprained my wrist
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  13. I bet old lovey goes off like a frog in a sock...
  14. Why is the man on her Right elbow, the same man who is on her Left shoulder?
    • Like Like x 1
  15. .
    You all know you would ...

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