I'm currently sitting in work with a Crunchie and a cup of Tetley getting that Friday feeling. I've got all the work for the week squared up, and another 5 hours to go before I can make a break for the business lounge for copious amounts of free gin. Whilst in my state of boredom and influenced by the tramp sucking thread, I got to thinking of a chap I know who is a complete soap dodger. If I knew any better I'd have said he was dragged up by some sort of pack of feral animals in the wilds of Donegal. He has more body hair than Chewbacca, and has a biohazard exclusion zone of 50m around him! Having spent some time with said chap on exercise/training, I have only ever known him to have a shower once, and that was on the Liverpool boat to Belfast. After a night of getting boozed up in the boats bar, we headed back to the 6x6 four berth cabins that make Belsen look like Butlins. Thankfully and by the grace of Allah I managed not to draw the short straw to be bunked up with this cnut. Needless to say we were all alerted by his unfortunate bunkmates to the event- the shower. To this day I still can't believe this donut, and it puts a cheesy one on my face. Being a complete soap dodger he obviously had no need to carry a towel, and although there was a towel supplied in the berth, he had no idea what to do with it. Instead, before the bar closed, he managed to sneak into the cafeteria area on the boat. Where he managed to pilfer a loaf of Sunblest. The stinky fcuker then managed to dry himself with said loaf. What's worse he then carefully returned every single slice into the packet, and placed the said loaf back in the cafeteria before breakfast. I didn't have any toast... Several did though Well gets me to thinking that there must be some howling stories of real dirty soap dodgers out there, given that the exploits of said trolley were quite tame. What's the dirtiest soap dodger you know, and what did they do to merit the title?