So with valentines day less than a month away...


...are you hoping to get anything?

On a side note, what would you write in a card to your 'significant other' if you'd;

A - Been together for a long time,

B - Been together for a shorter amount of time,

C - Not together, but hoping that situation will change very soon.

and finally,

D - Stalking someone.

PS: I saw this on another website, but it's all a bit dull, I thought it would get better responses on here :twisted:


War Hero
On Valentines day I plan to -

E. Have a sad w@nk...

...and that is all.


The girlfriend has told me not to buy her or organise anything for Valentines day. She says its a stupid day and that I should show my love for her throughout the year and not just on one day.

I suspect this is one of those things where if I do as per her instructions I will get the cold shoulder, and if I take her out or buy her something I will no doubt get shafted too.

F*cking women.


good card.............


couple of verses you may want to use...........

Roses are straight,
Violets are twisted,
Bend over love,
You're about to get fisted.

Roses are crap,
Violets are w@nky,
Oooh I've just come,
Pass me a hanky.

Roses are stupid,
Violets are silly,
Grease up your flaps,
Cos here comes my willy.

Roses are awful,
Violets are the pits,
Lift up your shirt,
And show us your tits.

Roses are crap,
Violets are sh1t,
Sit on my face,
And wiggle a bit.

Roses make me laugh,
Violets make me titter,
You're a dirty bitch,
And you love it up the sh1tter.


Its my b/day on the 16th Feb which falls on a monday....So, i suggested 'lets do something on the 14th' - being a saturday this year. Bonus, i get trolleyed with me lass and remind her how much i love her and get my end away on the 14th, then cunningly get trolleyed on the 16th aswell, well, it is my b/day ffs lol !! :twisted:

For ARRSE information, i dont just get my end away on special occasions !! :twisted:
As a rule, I only sleep with other mens wives. I can usually get away with sending a brief text message.

The last valentines card I sent, read:-

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You've ruined my life....

....but I've got the last laugh, as you've been diagnosed with a terminal medical condition which means that I can remortgage the house in my name only, and you can whistle for the crumbs from my table.

Just another day in the Grumpy household so she gets sweet FA! Same as she gets on any other occassion.




mw14 said:
With England v Wales kicking off at 5.30 that evening, romance will not be on the agenda.

The only thing Mrs Stinkerson will be getting is the drinks in.

English c**t! :threaten:
Dandy-Angus said:
Sh*t, i forgot bout the rugby, scotland play france i think, b4 england !

So would you like to reconsider?

Oi Sandy, yer not boning my lass !! I kill you !! Twisted Evil lol

Send her round to mine with a take-away for two and a bottle of Tequila. I'll DHL her back to you in a couple of canoe bags.

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