So why did YOU fail selection for THEM?

Discussion in 'Army Reserve' started by angular, May 2, 2007.

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  1. I fell asleep after a training weekend, so jacked the course. I was driving at 70mph on the M3 when I dozed off, though.

    What's your excuse??
  2. I was caught sticking sleeping pills in my fellow attendees coffee.
  3. Stopped for a cheeky tab half way up the Fan and flicked my fag end away when I was finished.

    Got RTU'd for littering!

    Now happy at 49 Para
  4. I put the black nasty over my eyes like they do in the books and tripped arrse over head.
  5. I painted the boathouse the wrong colour, was later diagnosed as colour blind and there for not fit for ops.

    Otherwise I'd have given the land in the iranian embassey a run for their money.

    True story !!*

    * DISCLAIMER Story may not be true
  6. msr

    msr LE

    I didn't, but I've said enough already...

  7. Got Fat, Didn't Go, So didn't pass! :?

    What an odd thread? I take it that you mean 49 Para Selection?
  8. Van Morrisson hated my guts..
  9. I didn't groom my 80's style porn moustache well enough.
  10. leaving a perefectly good unit wasn't logical
  11. They nicked my IPOD during resistance to interrogation and I broke.
  12. Got as far as the jungle phase (Which was taking place in Hamsterley forest due to defence cuts!) but couldn't go because i'm scared of spiders!
  13. When I went to that audition he said "Baby please don't go" You must have caught him on an off day Cloggie mate.
  14. You reckon it was because i shagged his wife? What's her name again...... ohh wait.. Gloria!
  15. Would that be "Glorri-orri-aaah"?

    As for why I failed "I cannot answer that question." no, not because of CAC training, my literary agent said not to as he is trying to jack up a slot for me on Jonathan ross to publicise my military autobiography "I was a prisoner of the RAF..."