So why did YOU fail selection for THEM?

I fell asleep after a training weekend, so jacked the course. I was driving at 70mph on the M3 when I dozed off, though.

What's your excuse??
Stopped for a cheeky tab half way up the Fan and flicked my fag end away when I was finished.

Got RTU'd for littering!

Now happy at 49 Para
I painted the boathouse the wrong colour, was later diagnosed as colour blind and there for not fit for ops.

Otherwise I'd have given the land in the iranian embassey a run for their money.

True story !!*

* DISCLAIMER Story may not be true
Got as far as the jungle phase (Which was taking place in Hamsterley forest due to defence cuts!) but couldn't go because i'm scared of spiders!
Would that be "Glorri-orri-aaah"?

As for why I failed "I cannot answer that question." no, not because of CAC training, my literary agent said not to as he is trying to jack up a slot for me on Jonathan ross to publicise my military autobiography "I was a prisoner of the RAF..."
Secret indeed! It's carried out in the function room of the Blue oyster Bar! ........ By the way a mate of mine was wondering if 64 Commando was recruiting at present?
I was RTUd for wearing jeans, dessert Timberlands and a Helly Hanson while at the laundrette in Hereford, got spotted, they said I had compromised myself, and that was that.

Good service wash there though, only four quid.

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