So, whats it like in jail then?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by PandaLOVE, Aug 16, 2008.

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  1. Fcuk all else to do, might as well play the system since everone else is milking us. House is paid for, pension coming in so wife and kids OK on that front. I'm going to end up there anyway so I might as well find out what I'm in for. Sounds better than the outside from what we read. Drugs on tap, plenty of gym time and decent libraries etc. etc.
  2. All you need is a plentiful supply of soap on a rope and you're laughing.
  3. My best mate in the UK has some distinct problems with the XYY chromasome, and he'd be the first to admit it. Salford boy, say no more. Quite a long time ago he did his last ( probably) stint in a govt hotel. Came out fit, supple, tanned, having spent his time reading, watching videos, using the multigym and smoking spliffs. His comment afterwards was memorable. I'm never doing that again, no matter how good it seems, they lock the doors at night, and I'm never having any more of that. And he's been true to his word for about 17 years. Well, I think it's more a case that the Bill are getting dafter.
  4. don,t forget your butt plug panda,you,ll want to gape nicely for the "daddies" in there. :roll:
  5. That's a myth. I quizzed my man about that. What, apparently, is the worst thing, bit like the Mob I suppose, is that you are stuck with some world class morons with little chance of diversion.
  6. That's the prisoners Panda, I don't think the screws get that.
  7. Are you sure he wasn't just saying that to make you feel like the only one?
  8. I might add, just for flack cover, that I think the Mob is likely considerably better, though not having been in meself, nor planning to do so, 45 now, couldn't say. And just to show my mate in a better light, the last time the sandy place took off, he went straight down to the nearest recruiting office and asked to be allowed to show towelheads Allah. Was politely refused
  9. what so no one gets their starfish expanded in nick anymore then?? i think your man must be trying to keep you from his secret life with mad fred and his chums in the showers. :wink:
  10. Me mate, chalk and cheese us, is a pretty healthy weightlifting sort. Probably got away with it that way. May have been a Daddy himself but I doubt it. My marine life is clean. Closest he's ever got to a kiss is a blowback.
  11. say again over?
  12. I doubt whether anyone took advantage when he drpped the soap. Probably because the showerrooms were empty. Personal hygeine is optional in prison as in day-to-day life. Pfew
  13. The whole getting fucked in prison thing is a yank phenomenon really. It happens now and again, but those cnuts would rape you on the outside just as much as they would in there, so got nothing to do with being in jail. You are more likely to end up with some junkie nicking your hard earned phone cards!

    References: Friends and family who have been in. Not me though, I am a good boy :)
  14. Great insight into jail life guys FFS....NOT! :roll: Other than the mythical shower-bum-fcuk (which you all seem obsessed with) what else can you tell me? Food any good? Beds confy? What exactly might I expect from a jail gym? And someone's mate came out with a healthy tan? How the heck did he do that? Do they play team sports like footie and rugby etc.?

    Who pays for the colout TV licence then? Do I get to play XBox 360 for the remainder of the day?

    So, other than not dropping my soap in the shower what can you tell me? :lol:
  15. Re yank phenomenon

    Seems some of them over here bring powdered soap to jail - harder to pick up in the showers ...