So to the real sport! The Ashes

Right then, back to the proper cricket and New Zealand. 2 tests over the next couple of weeks starting with a stupid day night travesty of a game.

New Zealand won the toss and are currently batting in their first innings.
England all out after 20 overs for 58.
NZ in reply are 88 for 1.
 
At one point I was pondering the first ever 1 day test match. 27 for 9 at one point and NZ should have lost a couple of wickets from stupid run outs.
Couple of recent ones:
1st Test, Australia tour of South Africa at Cape Town, Nov 9-11 2011
Australia 284 & 47
South Africa 96 & 236/2 (50.2 ov)- 3 days.
(Guess who had tickets for the weekend?)
1st Test, Zimbabwe tour of South Africa at Cape Town, Mar 4-5 2005
Zimbabwe 54 & 265 (75.2 ov)
South Africa 340/3d - 2 days.
 
Couple of recent ones:
1st Test, Australia tour of South Africa at Cape Town, Nov 9-11 2011
Australia 284 & 47
South Africa 96 & 236/2 (50.2 ov)- 3 days.
(Guess who had tickets for the weekend?)
1st Test, Zimbabwe tour of South Africa at Cape Town, Mar 4-5 2005
Zimbabwe 54 & 265 (75.2 ov)
South Africa 340/3d - 2 days.
I had tickets for Trent Bridge when Broad bowled the Aussies out in 2015. What made it worse was my mates decided to go to Abbeydale Cricket Club in Sheffield to make up for missing the test whilst I sulked at home. They ended up getting pissed and sending me photos of them hobnobbing with Joe Root.
 
I had tickets for Trent Bridge when Broad bowled the Aussies out in 2015. What made it worse was my mates decided to go to Abbeydale Cricket Club in Sheffield to make up for missing the test whilst I sulked at home. They ended up getting pissed and sending me photos of them hobnobbing with Joe Root.
2nd Test, England tour of South Africa at Cape Town, Jan 2-6 2016 | Match Summary | ESPNCricinfo
I had tickets for the Sunday...
Stokes 258 Bairstow 150*
Unfortunately, Mother in law passed away on january 1. So I couldn't go.

Last game I went to was v Sri Lanka last year.
About 90 minutes of Day 4, and it was all over.
Still, guests of SAB, so we spent a fair while lashing down free castles
 
Always check with me if planning on watching a Test match in Blighty.

I have a 100% rain record! I’ve had tickets for 12 days of test match cricket, and on every day there has been rain!

Admittedly most of them have been oop north, which may or may not have had a bearing on it!

MB
 
Pretty low move bribing people with free test tickets now so they can force them to drink bloody Crustle.
It was that 'special edition' stuff - unpasteurised, from the Newlands Brewery.
Their attempt to take on the 'craft beer' market.
Chalk and cheese compared to the normal stuff.
But was only sold in a few hipster outlets - at R49 a friggin pint!
 
Still tastes like it's made from pubic hair and goat wee.

Upcountry they have the Franzen Street Brewery as their attempt to take on the craft market. They're trying to be too clever and over hopping it to the point it becomes undrinkable. Tried one at a small festival a few years ago that had something like a dozen different hop varieties in it. Utterly vile.
 
Still tastes like it's made from pubic hair and goat wee.

Upcountry they have the Franzen Street Brewery as their attempt to take on the craft market. They're trying to be too clever and over hopping it to the point it becomes undrinkable. Tried one at a small festival a few years ago that had something like a dozen different hop varieties in it. Utterly vile.
Hipster market - ruins it for everybody.

 
The old codgers gargling a pint of Bishop's Foreskin are not the ones you see honking their guts up in a wheelie bin outside Lucky Abdul's Happy Hour Discount Kebab Emporium though.

At the festival mentioned I had the SAB marketing ntombezaans hoovering up my offering like there was no tomorrow.

As to the cricket, looks like we have Rabada back and possibly Bavuma. Have to say that Rabada is turning out to be a bit of a prima donna with anger issues. It doesn't help that the Ozmates tend to get a bit whiney when their sledging is handed back to them with extra raisins and a maraschino cherry.
 
As to the cricket, looks like we have Rabada back and possibly Bavuma. Have to say that Rabada is turning out to be a bit of a prima donna with anger issues. It doesn't help that the Ozmates tend to get a bit whiney when their sledging is handed back to them with extra raisins and a maraschino cherry.
Well, I thought this was a bit Cnutish...
But hilariously funny.


For those not in the know - There was a punch-up between David Warner and South Africa's Quinton de Kock during the first Test, which Warner blamed was sparked when De Kock insulted his wife.


His wife had 'previous' - she'd been caught shagging Sonny Bill Williams in a lavatory a few years back.

Hence the wearing of Sonny Bill masks at the cricket, after the latest fracas.
 
Oh sheesh - more shenanigans.

Sandpaper, allegedly.

Cameron Bancroft, the Australia opener, was spoken to by the on-field umpires after television cameras captured him holding a foreign object when working on the ball during the second session on day three of the Newlands Test.

A small, yellow object was seen in Bancroft's hands after he had worked on the ball, and he was also captured taking it from his pocket and seeming to place it down his trousers. The footage showed Bancroft seeming to rub the rough side of the ball, the opposite side to which he would usually be trying to shine on his trousers, as is permitted under ICC playing conditions. He appeared to put the object down his pants apparently after being spoken to by the substitute Peter Handscomb, who had come on to the field after speaking to coach Darren Lehmann over walkie talkie. Lehmann seemed to speak to Handscomb after footage of Bancroft working on the ball was shown on the TV screens at the ground.

The former South Africa captain Graeme Smith said he was surprised the umpires had not changed the ball. "In my opinion I think he's tampered with the ball and used an object to do that," Smith said. "It does look like it's a bit of sandpaper. The footage doesn't look good. I'm quite amazed the umpires haven't done anything with the ball. The footage is quite damning.
 

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