so some misc jokes

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Auxmaniac, Jul 3, 2013.

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  1. A priest checks into his hotel and says to the receptionist, “I hope the porn channel on my TV is disabled.”

    “You get regular porn just like every one else you sick bastard,” she replies.


    Teacher asks the kids in class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?

    Little Susie: I want to a role model for all young women; successful, independent and proud.

    "Little Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet
    to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

    The teacher, shocked and speechless...

    Susie: "Wait! I've changed my mind! I wanna be Johnny's bitch!"


    I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary

    for the following reasons:

    I do physical labor.

    I work at great depths.

    I plunge head first into everything I do.

    I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

    I work in a damp environment.

    I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

    I work in high temperatures.

    My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

    P. Niss

    The Response:

    Dear P. Niss:

    After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

    You do not work 8 hours straight.

    You fall asleep after brief work periods.

    You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

    You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

    You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

    You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

    You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

    You will retire well before you are 65.

    You are unable to work double shifts.

    You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.

    And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

    V. Gina
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  2. Not often you see a personality used as a contraceptive, hows it working out for you?
    • Old Old x 1
  3. The 1980's would like it's jokes back when you've finished with them
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. It's working about 3 years behind schedule. Just like you.
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    • Funny Funny x 1
  5. But you are still keeping up, good show having lit the blue touch paper dont stand and watch..
  6. Nope - checked the last post, not the first one. Keep digging.
  7. Pass the nails someone else claiming to be perfect.
    • Informative Informative x 1
  8. Congrats you are now up there with Bravo-Bravo. he is on my ignore list as well you womble.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    I think I will condemn this shit thread back to where it belongs: gathering dust but no comments.

    • Like Like x 1
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