so sick I didn't even laugh, just boaked.

Discussion in 'Sick Jokes' started by kiwidoug, May 3, 2013.

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  1. A young girl walks in and sees her mother in the shower. She asks, "What's that, mommy?"

    The mother says, "It's a vagina."

    So the girl says, "When will I get one of those?"

    "When you're a teenager," the mother replies.

    Later on, the little girl walks in on her father while he's showering. "What's that, daddy?"

    "It's a penis," he replies.

    "When will I get one of those?" she asks.

    The father says, "As soon as your mother leaves for work."

    Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks.

    Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water.

    "Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender.

    The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"
  2. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    You're no Frankie Boyle
  3. Bloody hell! Now I have to come up with an Emperor Minge tale for you! :-x
  4. Oh God......."Help!, I'm being stalked by an Aussie"
  5. :muhaha:
  6. Are these colonials going to do this all day? I thought they were sent off for a reason.
  7. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    I would say humour them but obviously that is something our little convict/reject friends don't understand
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Ok mac, I get the hint. Dinner time now anyway. Isn't it grand the Internet has dissolved all boundaries, it's like we are back in the Motherland once more. Brings a tear to the eye doesn't it....... :crying:
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Sorry if I got a wee bit carried away...I just wanted to live in a country where:
    A. The national team won some championships (Go the All Blacks)
    B. The sun actually did shine for at least 10% of the time
    C. There was room to move
    D. Ice cream made from vegetable fat was illegal.
    E. There were no man-killing spiders or snakes (I'm not frightened of sheep)
    F. There was no House of Lords.
    • Like Like x 2
  10. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    And your sister is legal.
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Oh, you know Kate?
  12. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    I knew her as Dave! But if she is happy.
  13. It's time he was fucking lanced though.
  14. She seems to be, mind you William's not a great catch.
  15. Imagine if Frankie Boyle joined the TA (shudder) and got promoted to Lance Jack, and after a particularly strenuous exercise the MO might say "Nurse, please lance Lance Corporal Boyle's boil"