...So she asks me "what's wrong with the Military Polic

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bob_the_bulletproof, Nov 24, 2004.

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  1. Yes, i'd like my daugter to marry one

  2. About as much as **** sex with a lawnmower

  1. Help me out here, what exactly is wrong with the MPs, and is it true that no one likes them?
  2. Would you trust a copper?

    /Masonic Handshake

    /Which lodge? :lol:
  3. I think the main thing is that they really are under some strange illusion that they really are like real policemen. But they are not. And they can't seem to live with that.

    They are after all a branch of the AGC, but out of arrogance or typical RMP total disregard for the law, still wear the old RMP stable belt and cap badge dispite having been a part of the AGC since the early 90s. Now how are you supposed to respect someone who is there to implement the rules when they can't even follow them themselves.

    And that's the bottom line..... they command no respect, which is after all earned, not just because it's expected.
  4. Bunch of t*ssers that are by and large useless (in peacetime) feckin hate 'em just get in the way. :evil: :evil: :evil:

    In war however theyre good for directing traffic :twisted:
  5. Waste of oxygen :twisted:
  6. Does that help - tradition gentlemen!
  7. I LOVE the RMP's....they used to give me a lift back home to Waterloo park, Aldershite when I had had a few on board and couldnt walk straight.

    That was back in the days on the Para presence in Aldershot so was always grateful not to have to walk.

    Go Military Police!!! :D
  8. Luv to see RMP wandering round in cabbage berets
  9. I've had run ins with bad ones, but then I shouldn't have been in severe breach of the 2 can rule and I've just finished working with a bunch of excellent RMP soldiers. Anyone just back from Kosovo should be able to vouch for that.
    How many times have we had this argument on arrse about various groups in the army? 'They're all sh1t.' 'No they're not.' 'Yes they are.' (Then the compromise) 'Ok then as in all walks of life there are some good and some bad.' End of argument. There's one of these threads going on about 2Lt Bursars and OTC officers at the moment... Now they are all sh1t! Just kidding :wink:
  10. Well, they've always been nice to me whenever they have caught someone naughty. They have this 'special coffee' which apparerently is RMP-only issue. Its a bit lumpy and and has a somewhat bitter aftertaste but it goes well with sugar because when I ask for two lumps they say 'thats the best way to take it'. In fact the last time......

    Hang ON 8O

    Oh, Mary and Joeseph and all the little baby orphans, I'm going to be sick....

    [wretching noises, off]
  11. Everyone hates the monkeys. Everyone. Even their mums.

    They even hate each other.
  12. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Duties of the Military Police

    1. Wartime

    a) Looking after enemy prisoners of war
    b) Directing traffic
    c) Annoying the shite out of all other soldiers

    2. Peacetime

    a) No EPWs about :(
    b) Not allowed to direct traffic :cry:
    c) All energies to be devoted to effecting Paragraph 1. subsection c)
  13. Trouble with them is that, unlike real policemen, they have a very small target audience with a reasonably small amount of crime. End result is that every minor infringement they get involved with gets blown out of all proportion so they can crow, in their segregated bar, about how "I made him have it". Self imporant, under employed, over opinionated tossers.
  14. The last time I encountered the almighty professional SIB,some tosseur in a lurid bomber jacket with trainers that would not have been out of place on a Harlem Globertrotter turned up to investigate the already well witnessed and documented case of" A hit B with bottle".He interviewed all concerned and a month later we received the authoritative report from him stating"B hit A with bottle".What would we do without them?Bless
  15. Well I've hated the barstewards since being "interviewed" by them in Aldershot.

    First of all came a blatent good cop bad cop routine with everything from cups of tea to being threatened with getting "the crap" beaten out of me round the back :roll:

    Then one at a time we were led away for our individual interviews and statement taking with all the "You might as well admit it son your mates have already said everything" :roll:

    After I pointed out all the "mistakes" (where apparantly I admitted to theft), in the written account of my statement there came more threats

    This all went on until about 4 in the morning when we were dragged bleary eyed to our barracks where the Monkeys wanted us straight on close arrest (they were fecked off by the Duty Officer who put us on open arrest)

    We were told to expect a charge in a tone that suggested we would be shot at dawn.

    What was our crime? I hear you ask

    They nicked us on the training area with various tools about to take the wheels of an abandoned burnt out car. They initially stopped us because they thought we were smoking something dodgy (the highly technical forensic tests of ripping apart every fag that we had and sniffing them proved negative, since when have B&H made joints anyway?) and as they had a gaggle of Sprog monkeys with them to impress, decided to do us for "Equipped to steal".

    The upshot of it was the Regt conveniently forgot that we were on open arrest and "had" to drop charges when they remembered us 5 days later.

    Feckin t*ssers :evil: :evil: