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So it begins.........

#1
Apparently when opening your "present" (a Christmas card with a £20 cheque inside) from your Sister in Law
the correct response is not "Fantastic,just what I've always wanted!" as this is deemed to be sarcastic.

It is now very quiet Chez Van.

What time and channel is The Great Escape on?
 
#12
Bitterness, no, my children have never given me presents. Now where's the rest of that Pol Roger ... ?
be thankful ... mines have given me an Oil of Olay gift set and a Nivea gift set along with some Irish Whiskey liqueurs ..... I am it seems a wrinkly old lush


sent from Mr McHendrys garden using sugar cubes and magic carrots
 
#15
Struck gold this year. New pair of Hoggs moleskins, bottle of Talisker and an old favorite white horse (like the taste as well as the joke). Plus a fab gun cleaning kit.
scared she might demand conjugal rights tonight. Must drink more heavily.
 
#16
Being a right tight twunt I tried declaring a cease fire on presents this year ( I always seemed to come out loosing anyway) but one barsteward has broken the truce now I am left looking like a twat. Nothing changes even at Christmas. Ah well back to the cooking Brasso
 
#17
This year, my daughter was shamed into getting me a prezzie. Some nice 212 smelly stuff.

Last year I got nothing until her and her boyfriend went out on Boxing Day and got me a mug which had "I'm a twat" on the bottom.
 
#20
the same as vvaannmmaann's should have been - "typical, wrong size, wrong colour...
"...unlike the blue buttplug I got you in preparation for the threesome with your sister! I know, we agreed on something small, but hey, its Christmas!"

I bet that would go down like a lead balloon if sarcasm gets you silence.
 

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