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So how naive were you when you first joined?

#1
Now I know most of us like to think we were born with brown knees, centralised navels and the like but in reality how green and gullible were we when we first put on uniform?

My own claim to shame dates from 1969 with my first weekend exercise with the ACF. It began with a Friday night start and a long uncomfortable journey up the A14 in the back of an old Bedford RL and ended at STANTA with a short march to basha up at a location called 'Home Farm'.

As we set about putting the 2 man bivvies up, the gabled wall of a building was silhouetted against the night sky and I thought how nice it was for the famer to let us set up camp in his back garden. I snuggled down into my blankets and drifted off to sleep. In the morning, the waft of fried bacon was in the air and again I thought how kind it was of the farmers wife to cook us breakfast The sunlight was streaming though the gap in the canvas so I got out of my bed and threw back the tent flap. To my surprise the farmers wife cooking breakfast was actually one of the adult instructors frying up a tin of compo bacon grill and the ideallyc farmhouse that was silhouetted was nothing more than an old ruin with this gabled wall being the one standing feature.

As a result of the experience I think the moisture behind my ears began to dry up.....

So how wet were the rest of us in the early days?
 
#2
Well i thought the army was going to be good. Sadly it aint. ALthough i seem to remember spending hours adjusting my webbing. pressing my kit when i didnt have to. & buying far too much useless kit like a cam net for a lanny etc
 

buges

Old-Salt
#3
The bar-stewards offered me the kings shilling and i'm still waiting for it.

"theres 40 shillings on the drum"
"for those that volunteer to come"

etc etc etc.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#4
First night in the Squadron, was taken to the bar by some of the 'sweats' ( they were about 20 yrs old, I was a mere sprog of 17 and a half). What are we drinking? Herfies and nips of Tobasco all round! Coming from a run down shanty town of a council estate not unlike Soweto, I'd only ever heard of two sauces.........red and brown. Have a sup of your Herfy and then down your nip in a oner! Thinking that I was one of the lads I duly did. Funnily enough, they didn't.

I have never drank napalm but now have a rough idea of what it would be like.

Oh how they chuckled.
 
#5
I believed that the Records Office actually existed and is in Glasgow (of all places). As we all know now, it's just a figment. I knew an Adjt once who said he'd been there on a FAM visit, but he'd twigged it as a con.
 
#6
I was silly enough to think i waz going to drive vechicals in the RCT
The only thing i drove was a broom around the parade square.
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#8
I saw 'Frank' on the beach, windsurfing and having the time of his life on TV. Oh how I laughed when I realised the beach was in the middle if Iraq!!
 
#9
My recruiting sgt in the late 80's told me that being a chef in the army was the best job going and that I would be one of the most popular blokes in the unit. Oh how I chuckled
 
#10
drain_sniffer said:
My recruiting sgt in the late 80's told me that being a chef in the army was the best job going and that I would be one of the most popular blokes in the unit. Oh how I chuckled
That should read, Oh how he (the recruiting Sgt) chuckled should it not?
 
#11
Legs said:
I saw 'Frank' on the beach, windsurfing and having the time of his life on TV. Oh how I laughed when I realised the beach was in the middle if Iraq!!
Frank was a knob.
 
#12
Oh how I laughed when, after listening to tales of daring and bravery and promises of being a pilot in 3 years, I found myself to be an alcoholic petrol pump attendant come telephone operator where the highlight of the early year exercises was waiting for a Lynx to land so that we could use the exhaust heat to remove the icicles that had effectivley sealed every orrifice on our bodies shut.

Must admit things did get better later though when I realised that we weren't going to get Apache in 1991, I had the co-ordination of a wet flip flop and was therefore never going to be a pilot and that blatting rounds out of the side of a Lynx was actually quite good fun.
 
#13
I was surprised that the Duke of Edinburgh's Royal Regiment was the local regiment for the Bristol ACIO I enlisted in but decided it would be pretty cool to wear tartan trews and spats...............
 
#14
I went to Sutton Coldfield (Army testing/recruiting centre in the old days) with every intention of joining the Para's. I then made the mistake of watching the programme "The Para's" and thought to myself, "I'm not going to be run around from arrsehole to breakfast time, and treated like a piece of sh1te during MY training", so I joined the Guards...........DOH!!!!!
 
#15
I believed every word the recruiter said.

'o levels? Sorry son, it's against QRs for you to go Inf. I've done some analysis on your scores though, and you are an exact match for the R Sigs. You'll have to sign for 9 though, they won't let you in for just 3'

Lying bastrad
 
#16
They promised me I would be able to play rugby three times a week. Then they posted me to 29 Cdo. Arctic exercise season and rugby season? Exact match! :oops:
 
#17
Cuddles said:
They promised me I would be able to play rugby three times a week. Then they posted me to 29 Cdo. Arctic exercise season and rugby season? Exact match! :oops:
But they didn't actually stop you playing as such, did they?
 
#18
As I stood outside the cookhouse on that first day, I casually confirmed to a helpful Sgt Major that I was joining the Royal Corpse (sic - Corps) and felt not unlike a blade of grass in a hurricane when he explained to me it was Core and that I should not refer to him as Corporal!
 
#19
Fell for being sent to the QM's for a "long weight"! - RQMS told me to wait outside around mid-morning. Being a Junior Private with 6 days experience, I did as I was told! At 1230, he asked "was that long enough?"!!! - cnut!
 
#20
Balderdash_and_Piffle said:
Fell for being sent to the QM's for a "long weight"! - RQMS told me to wait outside around mid-morning. Being a Junior Private with 6 days experience, I did as I was told! At 1230, he asked "was that long enough?"!!! - cnut!
keys for the indoor grenade range always went down well, and get me a 252 from the SSM so I can get these batteries charged while youre there will you?
 

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