Snot nosed kids with shit names.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ravers, Nov 30, 2011.

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  1. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Last week the wife dragged me around a few prospective primary schools for our offspring. Given the fact that our eldest has just turned one and the second is yet to hatch, I thought this was a little premature but she insisted. She likes to plan ahead.

    Anyway after a day of driving around, it boiled down to two choices:

    1. A nice little CofE village school, very well funded, 60 inch flat screens in all the classrooms, new fixtures and fittings etc. It's a mile away from our house and there is even a free minibus that will pick the sprogs up from the end of our drive, head teacher is an ex squaddie, seemed like a top bloke. Most of the kids in our village go there so our sprogs will have plenty of mates.

    2. A posh private school on a converted farm, it's nice enough, has better sports facilities than the village school but isn't noticably better in any other way, it's half an hour drive away so an hour round trip twice a day and it costs 6 grand a year per sprog.

    Obviously the missus wants to send the sprogs to the posh place, she thinks it will be good networking for her and the kids and all her mates send their kids there. She thinks the kids will get a better head start in life if they go there.

    Now clearly I'm thinking the first place will be better, it's free for a start and I don't need the hassle of driving for 2 hours a day. The only thing I learnt at primary school was how to play football and how to make a rubber band gun, I'd rather save the cash for a decent secondary school or uni education.

    The thing that really swung it for me though was the vast array of kids with utterly shit names at the posh school. What is it with middle class people these days? If there had been anyone at my school called Rufus they would have been bullied to suicide.

    While looking at the kid's coat rack with their names on, I noticed the following:


    Then as we were leaving I heard a mother in the carpark calling out to her son Mylo.

    Any of these names would have at least warranted a daily beating were I schooled. Are parents these days exposing their kids to a life of bullying and torture?
  2. Tell her to fuck off the kids woud be surrounded by little shits with names like tobias/sebastian and Jamie oliver freak names plus he'd just get tormented by the normal kids around the village for going to a posh school.

  3. It helps them to man up. I am convinced Twinkle-Toes Pansy Derek Roger_The_Cat will thank me when he's older

    On a serious note don't waste your money on the Private Primary School. Your brat might be thick as shit. See how they get on in Key Stage 2 first.
    • Like Like x 3
  4. Basically, yes. It's creating the early case for bullying and persecution that hardens these kids into either drop outs, psychopaths or nasty little people in the city, and what ensures that the middle classes regulate themselves...
  5. Soggy4978

    Soggy4978 Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    I've heard some stupid names in my time:

    Archie (and I'm not old enough to remember when Archibald was an acceptable name)
    Ezekial (nor am I aware of knowing any Amish types)

    Wha's wrong with proper names?

  6. Probably works the other way round thesedays.
  7. Just my personal opinion but £6k a year at the primary level is a complete waste of money, if I was in a similar situation in terms of scooling my folks would have disowned my by the time I was 9!
    Like you said, save for Uni, by the time your kids are old enough, you probably will have needed to save £6k a year for them anyway!
    Or better still, get them in the Army at 16, thats what I'll probably do if I have any...

    In terms of shit names, my ex used to want to call any potential offspring Bradley because she fancied the Gwar cunt that used to be in Eastenders!
  8. No because these people will only associate with other people of the same type so the names are rendered normal, acceptable and even something to be aspired too.
  9. Ravers,
    Put the foot down remember that £6K a year at the current price what will it be when your rug rut starts. The money has got to come from somewhere so you'll need to give up the alfa and your toy's going to stand for that?
  10. What the fuck is wrong with Lawrence as a name? All the others yes, but Lawrence? There's been loads of them. I admit that they normally shorten them to Lawrie, Laurie, Larry, Loll or Lozza etc., but how many Michaels do you know that get called Mick/Mike?

  11. ...and your kid will get tormented by the posh Tobias and Sebastian etc for being poor and common - unless of course your families second and third cars are brand new Mercs and you routinely spend Christmas skiing in Chamonix. Lose-lose situation for the child.

    Roger_The_Cat is spot on - stick with your village C of E primary school - you will be pleasantly surprised.
  12. My wife has various friends who like to think they are middle class, and have named their kids, Noah, Lucas, and Barnaby.

    I also, and this is a personal gripe of mine, dislike people who insist that their kids are called by their full name. i.e. Joseph not Joe, and Benjamin not Ben.
    I like to think my kids have normal names, that were chosen as a, my wife & I liked them. And b, they can be shortened (because you know their mates will shorten them.

    Ravers on the flip side, what are the names of the kids at the Council school?
    I also have a, shall we say lower class friend who who called his tribe of kids, Leona, Tesni, and Cian.
    One of the scrotes* here in work has kid's called Destiny & Tianna.

    *He's not a nig..I mean black, either.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Think ravers stays in the lakes now so it's only posh folk who can mostly live there so it makes no odds if they go to the LA school or a private one.
  14. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I'm glad most of you chaps agree. The money isn't really an issue, but I do think it's a bit of a waste. I reckon most of the stuff kids learn at that age is from their parents anyway.

    The missus thinks the posh school will be great because she can go to all the socials and compare Range Rovers in the car park.

    I just have visions of my kids being the odd ones in the village that all the other kids throw stones at.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Mug

    Mug Clanker

    Save the cash and ship them off to private school when they are in their teens and unbearable!
    • Like Like x 2