Last week the wife dragged me around a few prospective primary schools for our offspring. Given the fact that our eldest has just turned one and the second is yet to hatch, I thought this was a little premature but she insisted. She likes to plan ahead. Anyway after a day of driving around, it boiled down to two choices: 1. A nice little CofE village school, very well funded, 60 inch flat screens in all the classrooms, new fixtures and fittings etc. It's a mile away from our house and there is even a free minibus that will pick the sprogs up from the end of our drive, head teacher is an ex squaddie, seemed like a top bloke. Most of the kids in our village go there so our sprogs will have plenty of mates. 2. A posh private school on a converted farm, it's nice enough, has better sports facilities than the village school but isn't noticably better in any other way, it's half an hour drive away so an hour round trip twice a day and it costs 6 grand a year per sprog. Obviously the missus wants to send the sprogs to the posh place, she thinks it will be good networking for her and the kids and all her mates send their kids there. She thinks the kids will get a better head start in life if they go there. Now clearly I'm thinking the first place will be better, it's free for a start and I don't need the hassle of driving for 2 hours a day. The only thing I learnt at primary school was how to play football and how to make a rubber band gun, I'd rather save the cash for a decent secondary school or uni education. The thing that really swung it for me though was the vast array of kids with utterly shit names at the posh school. What is it with middle class people these days? If there had been anyone at my school called Rufus they would have been bullied to suicide. While looking at the kid's coat rack with their names on, I noticed the following: Rufus Lucas Lawrence Kai Oscar Hazen Eden Hermione Lancelot Hunter Then as we were leaving I heard a mother in the carpark calling out to her son Mylo. Any of these names would have at least warranted a daily beating were I schooled. Are parents these days exposing their kids to a life of bullying and torture?