Snot clearance

Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by Tartan_Terrier, Oct 15, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Right troops, I'm about as snotted as it's possible to be, and I'm getting sick of it. What's the quickest way for me to clear my head and chest?

    Before tomorrow would be ideal, but failing that I'll be happy with any cures that'll get me sorted for Sunday.

    Thanks in advance for any tips, tricks, home remedies etc.

    T_T
     
  2. steaming over hot water with vicks or menthol crystals and a really spicy chilli or curry...oooh and ginger tea made with fresh grated ginger, steeped in boiling water, add honey and a tot of rum/whiskey!!
     
  3. Very hot deep bath, drinking a half bottle of brandy to start with. As the nose clears snort very salty water up your nose which should clear that out. Follow with a cocktail of any drugs with an 'a' in it.
     
  4. Stay away from caffeine. Dilates your blood vessels thus making your nasal passages more congested
     
  5. JJ, I had no brandy, so I had some whisky and a couple of aspirin instead.

    BB, cheers for the ideas, I'm not sure about the ginger though, but the curry was good.

    KB, no caffiene? Are you insane?
     
  6. Sudafed capsules (not tablets, they're slightly different) will dry up your sinuses, but have side effects like dehydration and possible increase in heart rate. They also do not seem to work on me for the first two days of a really bad cold. Otherwise its the towel and the menthol inhalation, and possibly camomile tea to help you to sleep. Hope you get well soon.

    Yours, The Serial Cold Catcher
     
  7. Sniff some salt water.
     
  8. Already done you irrelevant tool.
     
  9. Well, y'know, people might just ignore your posts. :roll:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Drink loads of beer, you will feel a bit shite in the morning along with the hangover, but it will be sorted by lunchtime.
     
  11. go to supermarket buy some onions and then spend 10 minutes chopping them, that should do it.
     
  12. Don't shoot the messenger mate. Big cup of joe may pep you up, but it will make the blood vessels in your sinuses dilate and further constrict your breathing. It's actually the swelling of your sinuses, rather than snot, that is giving you grief.
    Mind how you go with the sudafed as well, too much keeps you awake and makes your mouth drier than an camel's cu nt.
     
  13. Try a sinutis rinse (but will not work if totally blocked, but still brillant!!!)
     
  14. The cold catching season appears to be back, so perhaps this is a good time to mention a couple of old wives' cures. Sniffing creosote or hot tar is supposed to be a good way to clear one's tubes. This might have been better in the old days, before they changed the formula for creosote, and when they still used pure tar on the roads. I'll try the creosote next time I catch cold, though, nothing venture &c.
     
  15. Go and piss off your local plod, and one of them will empty about half a can of pepper spray up your hooter, it will clear everything out!