Sneering at fat people.

[PFGEN]

My town is officially one of the top 5 fattest places in England. We used to have two Greggs very close to each other in the town centre. I used to joke to my wife that was so they could go from the Council offices, where many seem to work, and do a round trip to the first one to pick up a steak bake then eat it en route while still looking at their mobile phone and then into the second one to pick up a coffee and a doughnut and back to the office with only a 200 yard walk.

I do admire Greggs as a business though and absolutely nothing wrong with their products. Just needs to be eaten in moderation like all things and as my wife is a Geordie she was practically weaned straight onto a Greggs stottie cake. Although, that said, she is still is a mere slip of a girl compared to the average woman of my town.

Never understood the fascination with Greggs. On one of my trips to the auld country I stopped at a service point with a Greggs so thought I'd get something warm to eat. I went for a sausage roll. It was minging, not in the sense of being mouldy or the likes just a taste that would have caused a hungry dog to think twice. I binned it after a couple of bites. Others were stuffing their pie holes with them. Here endethed my one and what will be my only trip to Greggs.

 

[PFGEN]

Long haul could be a messy affair, I mean they won’t be able to access the on board facilities.

ETA. Actually even for a normal sized person the facilities are a bit of tight squeeze, how do they manage

On board facilities are provided for in each crate in the form of straw bedding. Some hospital style laxative 24 hours before flying might be an idea.

 

[mush_dad]

Never understood the fascination with Greggs. On one of my trips to the auld country I stopped at a service point with a Greggs so thought I'd get something warm to eat. I went for a sausage roll. It was minging, not in the sense of being mouldy or the likes just a taste that would have caused a hungry dog to think twice. I binned it after a couple of bites. Others were stuffing their pie holes with them. Here endethed my one and what will be my only trip to Greggs.

You might see me in Greggs for breakfast. Bacon roll with extra bacon and a half decent ground coffee. All in for £3.10

Even Gregg's can't fu*k up bacon.

 

[Gout Man]

You might see me in Greggs for breakfast. Bacon roll with extra bacon and a half decent ground coffee. All in for £3.10

Even Gregg's can't fu*k up bacon.

Coming from you that’s praise indeed.

 

[Ecosse]

Had a bacon butty not of Motherwell Greggs a while back.
Back then, they seemed to keep it in hot water after frying..so it was limp streaky rubbish.
I had two bites...the bin outside enjoyed the rest.
" Effin' mingin' pal" disnae touch the sides.

 

[Kirkz]

Easy, they can fast for 24 hours before flying.

Oh...

They can't do anything fast!

 

[Gardner6LXB]

They can't do anything fast!

15ft buffet opening dash?

 

[Kirkz]

15ft buffet opening waddle?

No charge.

 

[Fang_Farrier]

No charge.

You've obviously not been between them and a buffet table.

It's like a reenactment of the Charge of the Heavy Brigade

 

[DemsMaShoes]

I suppose it was not be politically correct to weigh passengers - yet everyone accepts their baggage being weighed? If you go to buy a pair of trousers you would not be offended by being measured, so why not an aircraft seat?

Thin people fore and aft, with fatties in the missile? Perhaps the airlines need to employ loadmasters to work out where people should sit?

I saw a programme about Rolls Royce some time ago.
During it, the matter of weight saving was introduced.
As an example it said that one company skimmed something like a millimetre from their planes' brake discs/drums(?)
The money saved in fuel costs ran into hundreds of thousands of pounds.

A good argument for passenger-luggage weight limits(?)


(Google example; "Virgin Atlantic recently announced an improved tray table design... ...The new tray tables stack more efficiently in their storage carts, allowing each cart to carry 33% more trays.
This resulted in Virgin Atlantic grounding one tray cart each flight, saving them around 53 lbs each flight. Over its entire fleet, this improved design is expected to save the airline millions".)

 

[Kirkz]

You've obviously not been between them and a buffet table.

It's like a reenactment of the Charge of the Heavy Brigade

Hopefully never will.

 

[themutiny]

On board facilities are provided for in each crate in the form of straw bedding. Some hospital style laxative 24 hours before flying might be an idea.

Give ‘em Picolax. That’ll sort it.

 

[Ortholith]

Give ‘em Picolax. That’ll sort it.

Apparently available on the internet from major companies. I have resisted so far but if I'm forced to attend another mandatory fun wellbeing day I may be tempted to add some to the communal water supply.

 

[PFGEN]

Apparently available on the internet from major companies. I have resisted so far but if I'm forced to attend another mandatory fun wellbeing day I may be tempted to add some to the communal water supply.

Apart from the obvious catastrophic diarrhea can it be detected in anyway? Asking for a friend.

 

[Ortholith]

Apart from the obvious catastrophic diarrhea can it be detected in anyway? Asking for a friend.

Who could identify the miscreant who did so? Assuming said miscreant wore gloves, followed sterile procedures when opening said packets it should be fine.

It might be an idea to thoroughly wash your hands and everything close to it just in case.

 

[Yokel]

Apparently available on the internet from major companies. I have resisted so far but if I'm forced to attend another mandatory fun wellbeing day I may be tempted to add some to the communal water supply.

Are you thinking of taking it yourself, giving it to the staff, or perhaps to the pupils? OFSTED people perhaps?

Who could identify the miscrreant who did so? Assuming said miscreant wore gloves, followed sterile procedures when opening said packets it should be fine.

It might be an idea to thoroughly wash your hands and everything close to it just in case.

Once upon a time I read a magazine confession by someone who played a foul trick on someone from work. The story went that the victim kept a jar of mayonnaise in the canteen fridge for sandwiches, so the miscreant left a jar of mayo in the sun for a week before swapping thern over.

Result - almost instantly vomiting and diarrhoea and several days off work.

The editor refused to consider this forgivable.

PS Why is diarrhoea such a hard word to spell?

 

[PFGEN]

Who could identify the miscrreant who did so? Assuming said miscreant wore gloves, followed sterile procedures when opening said packets it should be fine.

It might be an idea to thoroughly wash your hands and everything close to it just in case.

A certain coffee machine might spring to mind.

 

[wafubustard]

I did hear of the same effect when too many sugar free gummy bears are eaten.
The world tends to fall out out your arse. Just leave an open packet out at work and let them administer their own dose.

 

[noliveroundsemptycasespr]

P

Are you thinking of taking it yourself, giving it to the staff, or perhaps to the pupils? OFSTED people perhaps?



Once upon a time I read a magazine confession by someone who played a foul trick on someone from work. The story went that the victim kept a jar of mayonnaise in the canteen fridge for sandwiches, so the miscreant left a jar of mayo in the sun for a week before swapping thern over.

Result - almost instantly vomiting and diarrhoea and several days off work.

The editor refused to consider this forgivable.

PS Why is diarrhoea such a hard word to spell?

Stränge I find constipation hard.

 

[CrashTestDummy]

Enough with the crap posts already.