Sneering at fat people.

Joshua Slocum

Book Reviewer
I used to work with a bloke called Shitter
working away and bloody long hours, we would usually have a sandwich and a cuppa midday
then a decent evening meal
so first night with shitter, back to Hotel, shower and change and into town for dinner by about 6
ah no we cant eat yet ??
why not lets have a pint first ??
we can have a pint afterwards. no we had to have a pint into the pub I had a pint he had four, i went onto lemonade and orange juice
he was still downing the pints
into a Chinese restaurant we sit down to eat, its now 9.45 !!
by this time I am so tired, and over hungry I know I cant eat or I will chuck up
So I ordered a very small light meal, some rice, some beanshoots, and some a small bit of chicken
he orders half the bloody menu, plus several more bottles of beer
half eleven we leave and guess who foots the bill ?
45 quid , and I had a meal costing about 8 pounds
I could claim it back from the firm but it didnt seem right

eating late is bad for you
back to the Hotel a twin bedded room
do my teeth and off to bed
half past 2 he is off for a big shit, then comes in and leaves the bog door open, I jump up run in and open the bathroom window wide and shut the door
he moaned in the morning that it was cold, oh yeah he liked the heating on high as well, that also slows your metabolism down
up at 6 showered and down for brekky at half six
porridge, coffee a glass of fruit juice and two slices of toast
I am done
not shitter
he filled a massive glass to the brim with fruit juice, necked it and did it twice more
eat a full english ( didnt eat porridge) plus about 4 rounds of toast
loads of fruit
I am in the van windows cleaned engine ticking traffic building
he is having another shit
by Christ I felt rough that day

A week with him and I could have stabbed the fat lardarse
next job I put the boss right and he took his pisshead mate along
I worked with an ozzie bloke who was organised like me
finish on time back for a shower and a change , early meal then read a book or watch a film or go to a concert
the other two used to stagger in pissed about half twelve waking every one up
they must have pissed some one off as all four of their tyres had been let down
its got to be a Mental thing shitter never moved quickly, would not walk where he could drive, and took the easiest way out with running cables

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