Not a fan then?As that fat mess leaves the shower, the sweat begins to build up underneath the pendulous orbs of gross fat. They add to the general ambience of mould, black-heads and in-grown hairs. Some of the in-growing hairs have festered to become white headed pustules of infection. Her skin is as tight as a drum skin, with the bits of it that have not seen the sun for nigh on twenty years, glowing faintly green. Even freshly showered she smells of stale cooking fat and raw onion. After ‘dancing’ for hours, with only pints of ‘snake-bight and black’ and vinegar soaked chips to keep her energy levels up, she exudes an assault on the olfactory senses that would offend a skunk.
Her every nylon covered movement generates milliamps of current, mega volts of potential and a curious smell as millions of bacteria are transformed to ozone. If harnessed properly, her static charge could keep a small fleet of ‘Greta’ robots charged and on the charge in an extinction rebellion protest against all mainland European airports.
She is offensive to every one of the five senses that I possess. She looks horrible, she will smell worse, she will feel greasy and pockmarked, the smell will be able to curdle milk from a thousand paces. To top it all, I just know that she’ll have an accent that Is a mixture of the worst parts of a Belfast dockyard whore and an adopted Birmingham chicken sexer.
I cannot bring myself to speculate on her taste...
I suggest you Google "lovers stool".How do they shag? I assume there is some kind of hoist mechanism and ratchet straps involved? The ******* land whales.