Sneering at fat people.

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
I dont care about porkers as long as they keep out of my way.

However back in the early 90s I was flying around Australia a lot, and the company decided to place an embargo on Business class on flights under 4 hours (or something).

So I found myself flying Ansett economy.

I was (and still am) pretty slim and fit. I started to notice that massive porkers were always sat next to me. They would spread their disgusting fatness half across my seat.

One day I asked an Ansett girls how this happened and she told me it was done deliberately. They even separated fat guts couples, placing each of them next to a thin traveller. She said too many fat people sitting together represented an evacuation risk.

They would waddle up the isle, squash themselves next to me, then lift the folding armrest and blubber across my seat.
Bro_mush had a solution to that scenario. He'd buy a copy of Gay Times and would be reading it when said porker would waddle up and would be about to ask is the seat next to him taken. Then they'd see the magazine he was reading and waddle further on.

I asked him did it mean that it attracted the gay fliers (not cabin crew). He said yes but they're all slim and body conscious and once they'd taken the seat he'd explain that our other bro (gay_mush_bro) had lent it to him for the articles, at which point he'd put it away and get out a copy of Playboy or Guns and Ammo
 

CatsEyes

War Hero
Bro_mush had a solution to that scenario. He'd buy a copy of Gay Times and would be reading it when said porker would waddle up and would be about to ask is the seat next to him taken. Then they'd see the magazine he was reading and waddle further on.

I asked him did it mean that it attracted the gay fliers (not cabin crew). He said yes but they're all slim and body conscious and once they'd taken the seat he'd explain that our other bro (gay_mush_bro) had lent it to him for the articles, at which point he'd put it away and get out a copy of Playboy or Guns and Ammo
I'd love to see the look on his face if that backfired and he attracted a 35 stone gayer who sat next to him and spent the entire flight looking at his groin.
 

Fake Sheikh

War Hero
You only got a thumbs down as I was eating at the time.
You barsteward!;)
Did you get a semi looking at her, but embarrassed to admit?
 
Reminds me of the bit from Animal House where the smoothy says Bluto is basically OK “but just don’t get your hands near his mouth when he is eating”.
 
Good day today. This little cutie on the train this after
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and in the dentist
83338DBD-5049-427C-859C-99207245E748.jpeg
 
Back in the 70s I dated a girl called Caroline. She was a bit rounded in the early days, as was her parents. They ate out several nights a week and enjoyed a lot of good food at home.

She grew bigger and bigger, and eventually we separated, not over her weight but over other things.

She kept eating and growing. I would catch up with her from time to time and give her advice - lose the weight or it will shorted your life.

She got into this “big is beautiful, love your body” stuff.

About five years ago I got an email from her sister. Caroline had the flu, and was driving to the Doctors. She collapsed at the wheel with a heart attack, and despite the efforts of passers by, a passing group of firemen and eventually an air ambulance, she died.

Fat people die young. RIP Caroline. I wish you had listened to me.
 

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